Real personal change usually requires a “system” change …

We human beings can be remarkably complex creatures, and yet so functionally simple!

For example, the average person functions in life using a simple behavioral system as follows: We will adopt a behavior when the payoff for the behavior exceeds any potential costs for behaving that way. When the payoff of a behavior exceeds the cost for behaving that way, usually that behavior will be repeated. The formula for this simple behavioral system looks like this:

PAYOFFS > COSTS = REPETITION

In both of my roles as a minister and a counselor, I spend a lot of time helping people identify and replace defective systems they’ve created and often have developed into habitual behavior. A defective system is when the cost for a behavior actually exceeds any payoff, a behavioral formula that looks like this:

COSTS > PAYOFFS = SHOULD CEASE REPETITION

When we are thinking rationally, usually when the cost of a behavior exceeds any payoff, experiencing that cost will motivate us to change our behavior by stopping the repetition of that costly behavior and replacing it with a new behavior where the payoff exceeds the cost.

Let’s use a simple example of a character named Frank who lied one time and seemed to earn a payoff for doing so. Thinking that telling a lie benefited him, Frank explores with lying in other situations, and it seems the payoff for that behavior exceeds any potential costs, so lying becomes a behavioral repetition for him. Eventually, though, different people begin to discover that Frank isn’t telling them the truth, and the fact that he has been lying to them creates conflict in the relationships. At that point, it becomes clear to Frank that lying has a greater cost to it than any possible payoff, so he ceases repetition of that behavior and replaces it with a habit of honesty.

What many people struggle with is finally discovering the behaviors they had chosen are a defective system and they now are facing serious costs for such behavior. The struggle for some is in sometimes not knowing how to navigate the needed change from costly behaviors (especially when those behaviors have become habitual), and for others it’s an unwillingness to change behavior, even if the cost for their chosen behaviors are hurtful, or even harmful, to themselves and/or others.

The worst of all defective systems is sin. Sin is a lie that claims it has a delightful payoff for us, and initially it may appear to be satisfying to lure us in. But it doesn’t take long to discover sin comes with a terrible cost that we’re unable to pay. Only through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ who has defeated sin and has paid its cost for us that we can be set free to function in a better system, one of holiness and righteousness in Christ, where the payoff is infinitely more than we could ever deserve.

So often troubles in our lives aren’t over a single thought, emotion, or act, but the adoption of a behavioral system that has no benefit for us and is only costly, yet in our stubbornness we persist in trying to force a payoff out of something that can only bring great costs we can’t bear. The good news is, you don’t have to live that way! If you think you’ve adopted defective systems in your life and want or need help making needed changes, reach out to your pastor, a mature Christian, or seek out a competent Christian clinical therapist to help you.

Scotty