Bad pop psychology …
There’s a lot of bad pop psychology out there, but one of the worst, most prevalent schools of thought in American society is the need to develop a “balanced life.”
Sound shocking? After all, don’t Christians talk about gaining “balance” as much as anyone else? Probably so.
The idea of trying to develop a “balanced life” not only is a bad one, it can be an unhealthy one. I have seen people develop dangerous levels of stress and anxiety over their pursuit to achieve some semblance of balance.
But here’s the problem: you cannot “balance” life!
Your faith cannot be equally balanced with your spouse, which cannot be equally balanced with children, which cannot be equally balanced with employment … and on it goes.
Here’s some exciting news … God calls us to live a wonderfully imbalanced life!
That’s right! Not only is living a “balanced life” impractical, it’s something God really does not want us to do.
Take a look at Matthew 10:37, “If you love your father or mother more than you love Me, you are not worthy of being Mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being Mine.”
The message Jesus has for us here is unambiguous: He not only wants first place or dominance in our lives, He wants us to love Him passionately more than anyone or anything. In other words, He has no interest in being a part of a balance, He wants us radically imbalanced in His favor!
Pop psychology today teaches we have to reach balances between spouse, children, church, and work, etc. But God says uh-uh. First, we have to be out of balance for Him. We have to love Him beyond what we even feel for our own parents or children.
That’s a radical imbalance!
But second only to God should be our spouse (if married). Does that mean, then, that our spouse should get more time from us than our employment? No. Because we love our spouse and children, we give more time to our employer so that we can provide for our spouse and children. So work may get more time than the most important people in our lives!
And so goes the reality of life. It really is not about achieving “balances” because they can’t be built. What God wants us to do is to build and live out values … having the right values, and the right order for those values, will bring us the peace we long for but cannot achieve in trying to build “balance.”
When we love God beyond all, and then cherish our spouse; then together love and make sacrifices for children, and all together give ourselves to the work of building God’s kingdom, and so on, we put into place a life of Godly values that brings peace to our lives. It’s thoroughly imbalanced because what often matters more doesn’t always get the biggest block of time, but it does get the greater level of devotion. So stop sweating gaining balance. Instead, by God’s Word, live a wonderfully imbalanced life!
Scotty
April 24, 2009 at 11:14 pm
That is so true Scotty! Many of us try so hard to create balance in our lives and find it impossible to do so. Then the stress sets in and the feelings of being a failure become the heaviest weight in this “balancing act.” That leads to all kinds of problems within the very paradigm that we are so desperately trying to control with balance. It can be a tough nut to crack!