Ugly anger …

To say my father was abusive is almost to be kind. He never physically abused me, but I don’t remember a day in my childhood that I wasn’t terrified of him. So when he said he needed my help working on the pickup truck that afternoon, my heart sank. Instantly I knew I would likely do something not to his liking and it would result in an ugly moment with him.

Sure enough, it was an afternoon scarred with a very ugly moment.

I was in seventh grade and was just learning to drive by practicing in an ancient Jeep we had while living on a massive ranch in Northern Arizona. So my skills with a clutch in a vehicle were those of a novice. My father was doing some work under the truck, and he wanted me to start the truck and barely engage the clutch. I wasn’t afraid of running him over, my problem was achieving that balance of engagement instead of missing it and killing the engine … which I did. More than once. Finally, my dad came out from under the truck, yelling and cursing at me. And then came those words that I still remember crisply to this day:

“You’re so stupid you stink!”

Venomous words of anger from a father directed to his son.

I won’t take up the space to describe to you the effects of those words on me … let’s just say they didn’t make me feel warm all over, or closer to my dad.

But the simple fact is the supposed source of the anger didn’t match with the overall response. For a seventh grade boy to kill the engine of a truck trying to precisely engage a clutch isn’t something to be surprised by. But a ferocious rage unleashed on your own child because of such a thing is a response greatly disproportionate to the situation.

Thus, how true are the words found in James 1:20, “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

People in our American culture today are accustomed to anger. “Road rage” is common in our cities with heavily congested freeways. Our boss gets angry at us, we get angry at our spouse, our spouse gets angry at us, parents get angry at children, and teens seem to be perpetually angry at their parents! (just kidding!). Teachers get angry at students, neighbors get angry at neighbors, and Christians get angry at the person in the pew next to them.

Sometimes we even get angry at God.

And … get this: sometimes God gets angry at us!

But look closely again at those words from James: “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

But wait, sometimes we have a reason to be angry. Sometimes there is real injustice in this world and that injustice can be reason for “righteous indignation” … anger for a righteous reason.

Yep, that can happen.

BUT, it’s often not the source of much of the anger we deal with.

Let’s look at two key root causes for anger:

1) UNMET EXPECTATIONS – We want what we want when we want it. That’s how we are. And if we don’t get what we want when we want it, we’re prone to respond angrily. We may respond in ways other than anger, but if we’re coming from a selfish stance, we don’t like it when something gets in the way of our getting our way. So we respond in anger. That anger, from a source of selfishness, does “… not produce the righteousness God desires.”

2) FEELING OUT OF CONTROL – We’re human beings with finite abilities, we cannot control everything. And so, when things do not go the way we want them to and we cannot immediately control things, we often respond angrily. We don’t like it when others or circumstances direct us rather us directing them. So when pushed in such a way, we lash out in anger … an anger that does “… not produce the righteousness God desires.”

There are two key reasons why anger moves us away from achieving that righteousness God would desire in our behavior:

1) ANGER CAN PROPEL US BEYOND APPROPRIATE BOUNDARIES – The irrationality that can accompany misdirected anger can momentarily result in pushing us beyond boundaries we normally wouldn’t cross … the husband who “in the heat of the moment” hits his wife, or the parents who react in anger and abuses a child … and on it goes, even to the point where crimes are committed and sometimes lives taken. Simply put, boundaries begin to fail us if our anger is from the wrong source and undirected. Proverbs 14:17 says, “Short-tempered people do foolish things, and schemers are hated.”

2) ANGER CAN MOVE US AWAY FROM THE CHARACTER OF GOD – God gets angry, but He never sins. We often get angry, and often the result of that anger is sin. Two very different experiences. Anger is a human emotion that can be for good or bad. The key to it is, again, found in scripture as we read in Ephesians 4:26, “And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Simply put, it’s okay to be angry at times, but do not sin. Anger that leads to sin moves us away from the righteousness God wants to build into our lives. Anger that maintains the character of God can achieve some good things by motivating us to act and fueling us to stand appropriately against injustices.

James gives us some good advice about how to behave ourselves in the verse prior to his statement about anger, in James 1:19, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” and Proverbs 14:29 gives additional insight, “People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.” Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare” and verse 18 in the same chapter says, “A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them.”

Scripture has much to say about anger … how it can be a righteous response, or a foolish act … more than can be dealt with adequately in this space. But at the heart of ANY emotion, including the emotion of anger, is the core of our very own character. If we are in right standing with God, yielding to the power of His Spirit in us, seeking His will, searching His word, and committing ourselves to prayer, it’s far more likely that the righteousness of God working in us will help direct our emotions. But when we are sloppy with our relationship with Jesus Christ … when we stifle the Holy Spirit, rarely open our Bibles, are really more self motivated than not, then chances are we will be lacking in self-control and an anger that does not achieve the righteousness God desires may well be a result. But what we’ve seen in the scriptures above is about not letting anger control us but, rather, letting God be the source that empowers us with self-control … “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).

May the Spirit of God reign in your life!

Scotty