How does your list compare?

I bet you could add to the following list:

• • Parents.
  • Spouse.
  • Family members.
  • Friends.
  • Teachers.
  • Minister.
  • Physician.
  • Personal Trainer.
  • Counselor.
  • Boss.
  • Co-workers.
  • Mentor.
  • Coaches.
  • Financial advisor.
  • Accountant.
  • Small group members …

… and so goes the list. What kind of list is it? It’s the variety of people who are put into our lives to help, bless, and guide us that we almost routinely don’t listen to.

The average person will have numerous people come into, or pass through, their lives, many of whom could benefit and bless them greatly if only they would let them. Yet, many start their relationships by pushing against what others try to bring to them.

This “pushing against” others starts early in life. When the parent wants to help the small child with tasks they can’t yet do for themselves, the child becomes angry and yells, “Let me do it!” (it isn’t just a desire to do it for himself, the child wants it done his way). And many keep yelling that throughout their lives.

They yell it at the teachers who try to help them learn, the coach who tries to develop their skills, the physician who tries to guide them to health, the Personal Trainer who tries to instruct them to fitness, the friend who tries to steer them to safety, the pastor who tries to point them to God, the boss who tries to lead them to success, the spouse who tries to encourage them to love, and so many others who can help them take a step forward in their lives.

Even when we initiate the interaction with others, such as when a person calls a friend to tell them about something going on in their lives, often the initial response is to push against the very friend they called (at least initially).

Unless people finally come to see this instinct to initially push away at others, they will miss much of the positive contribution people can bring to their lives. Even more, they will miss many of the blessings God has for them that He brings to them through the interaction with others.

Maybe you’ve heard a variation of the story about the fellow stuck on an island as the river rose. A rescue team threw him a rope and he refused to grab it because “God saves.” The river rose and the rescue team sent a boat to him and he refused to get in because “God saves.” The river rose and he climbed a flag pole and a helicopter came by to pick him up, yet he refused to get in because “God saves.” The man finally drowned and when he stood before God, he was angry. “Why didn’t you save me?” he screamed out. God looked at him and said, “I sent you a rope, a boat, and a helicopter. What more did you want?”

What more do you want?

“You don’t understand,” many say, “I’ve been hurt or disappointed when I’ve let others into my life.”

Ah, therein lies the problem: the fear of being hurt, disappointed, misled, or used by others because we all have been. This also started early in life, and even the people we are closest to have hurt or disappointed us at some time, in some way. So we’ve conditioned ourselves to initially push away until we think we can trust.

What’s a better response? Instead of reacting with fear by pushing away until we think it’s safe to embrace others, we can start simply by listening, then evaluating, and then responding. This removes the reactive “push” in our relationships and helps us to miss out less on the blessing others can be to us.

Are there people in your life who could be a blessing and a help to you if only you would stop pushing away? How responsive are you to God Himself? Are you embracing the grace, forgiveness, and direction of the Lord, or are you holding Him at arms’ length with others?

Scotty