Did you hear that? …
I like listening to people.
Professionally, I’ve been trained to listen to people. But personally, I really do enjoy listening to others tell their stories and learning about the people I’m spending time with. On several occasions, at the end of visiting with someone, many have remarked they’ve spent most of the time talking about themselves. That’s fine with me, as I usually spend the time asking questions about them, which is their springboard to go deeper and deeper with their stories.
A recent invitation extended to me was supposed to be somewhat different. A Christian leader had wanted to meet with me after hearing about some of my work. The initial greeting was very warm, and the fellow started by enthusiastically stating how he wanted to get to know me and hear my story. So he led with a question …
… only to quickly interrupt to tell about a similar experience of his own.
This continued to be the theme of our time together: he would ask a question about me, let me start, then interrupt to tell about his own similar experience. I believe he thought sharing his similar experiences was a way of creating a common bond. However, it became obvious to me that he simply liked talking about himself. So, I subtly changed the interaction to asking questions of him. At the end of our time together, he shook my hand vigorously, remarking how he had really enjoyed learning more about me! Well, at least I enjoyed learning more about him.
I understand my invitation to meet this leader was well-intentioned, but it was really all about himself. His behavior is a common one among weak leaders, which is the habit to want to “best” others with their own experiences.
We really don’t learn much about others, help others, or lead others well if we spend much of the time talking about ourselves. Learning to listen to others gives us a more accurate insight about others that better equips us to understand their needs, and how we can best make ourselves available to help them meet those needs.
It’s one thing to rattle on about yourself with another person, but I’ve noticed people who talk a lot about themselves often talk a lot at God as well. It’s not enough to “best” a friend or colleague, but they often try to “best” God as well by making their time with the Lord a one-sided conversation of informing the Creator of all things about exactly what they want, and how they want it.
Not only do we do that in our conversations with God, but we do it with His conversations with us by what He says to us through scripture. God has stated perfectly what He wants to communicate to humankind, yet we often take scripture and amplify it with our own opinions, views, experiences and desires. By the time we’re done with it, we’ve stretched it far beyond what God has actually said! We pile so much of our own “stuff” on top of God speaking to us in scripture that soon we can’t recognize the biblical passages as originally communicated.
God doesn’t need our additions — or subtractions — from His Word. He doesn’t need our counsel or insights. He doesn’t need our puny comparisons. He simply wants us to listen and apply what He has to say.
That doesn’t mean God wants a one-way interaction with Him. He delights in our communing with Him. But sometimes we need to be a little more mindful of just who we’re communing with! We can never “best” God. There is no experience or accomplishment of any virtue that we can stack up against His. So maybe we need to listen a little more, so we can get to know and understand Him better.
One thing I’ve discovered, the more we learn to listen to God, the more He prompts us to share with Him. Good listening carves greater depth into a relationship. The reason is because listening doesn’t happen naturally, it requires a conscious choice. We hear a lot around us, but we listen to very little and very few.
Our Creator has much to say to us, every bit of it for our benefit. How well are we listening?
Scotty
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