Changing this will change your character …

Most people who say they would like to change really mean they would like for change to happen to them. But when it becomes clear change would require focused, sustained work on their part, they lose interest.

The difficulty of change is that our thought patterns, emotions, and behaviors are usually far more deeply habituated than we ever realized … until we need to change! In fact, habituated behavior makes up the core of the good or bad elements that create our character. If you really want to change or improve your character, you will need to do this: change your automatic reactions by replacing them with more thoughtful responses.

A majority of people go through life reacting to people, situations, events, and circumstances with knee-jerk reactions. They simply react automatically rather than taking as little as seconds or moments to consider a more thoughtful or prayerful response.

Automatic reactions are often more irrational than rational, more lacking in insight than they are informed, and therefore are often more wrong than they are right. They are a primary generator of our regrets.

How to go about changing our behavior to thoughtful responsiveness from the habit of automatically reacting is a topic that would take more than this post to cover. But let me give you a simple, six-step process often applied to changing habituated behavior:

1. Recognize the pattern of behavior as a habit.
2. Develop solid reasons to change and work at keeping those reasons in the forefront of your mind. This is the “why.”
3. Discover the trigger or patterns that start the behavior in motion.
4. Learn to interrupt the pattern or cycle early in its process.
5. Discover and develop a replacement process.
6. Perform the replacement process or processes until the unwanted habit is gone.

Changing your thoughts, behaviors, or character, can be a challenging thing. Fortunately, it’s something the Holy Spirit wants to help us with. Ephesians 4:20-24 shows our efforts joined to God’s power can bring whole transformation to our lives:

“But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God — truly righteous and holy.”

Finally, don’t hesitate to get help with difficult habits that impact your character. A few sessions with a competent Christian counselor could help you achieve a level of change that you couldn’t (or wouldn’t) accomplish on your own.

Scotty