Love trumps relationships …

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The incessant talk within the church about “building relationships” has often been very hollow for this simple reason:

Love trumps relationship.

Church leaders have encouraged us to focus so much on a cultural concept of “building relationships” that we often wind up pursuing “building community” rather than loving one another. And whenever there’s a choice between genuine love, and a “relationship” that is cultural in character, real love always trumps.

If you look at the example of the early church, we see a family of believers who really loved each other. They had each other’s backs. They didn’t simply care for each other self-sacrificially, they loved each other and that love was visible and tangible. They loved each other so much, it was what they were known for. Paul writes in Colossians 1:4, “For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people.”

Getting to church 15 minutes before worship service begins to have a cup of coffee with people you rarely interact with beyond Sunday mornings isn’t love, it’s a cheap cultural knock off. It’s “community.” It’s not even fellowship!

Churches across the country have small groups that meet together every week. That’s because we teach we can better build “relationships” in small groups. And we have lots and lots of relationships within the church. But not nearly enough love!

Simply bringing people together in “community” does not magically result in them loving one another. Building cultural relationships doesn’t automatically result in loving relationships. Maybe we need to talk less about building “relationships” and building “community” and more about being an actual family who loves each other the same way Christ has loved us. And here’s the kicker: you might be amazed at how simply sincerely loving someone with the love of Christ actually makes creating and sustaining any kind of a relationship easier and more appealing.

What are you striving for: relationship building, or loving one another? There’s a huge difference! What are you teaching: the need for community, or the need for genuine agape love? What are you modeling: the cultural idea of a relationship, or the love of Christ?

Scotty