How to deal with someone else’s bad attitude …
It doesn’t feel good to have a bad attitude, but it may be worse to be on the receiving end of one. For many people, being the brunt of someone else’s bad attitude is stimulation for having one of their own!
How do you deal with being the dumping ground of someone’s bad attitude without striking back in like manner?
God gives us a great example when He dealt with the infamous bad attitude of Jonah.
Jonah had a truly nasty attitude with God. So bad that when God gave him an assignment, Jonah literally ran in the opposite direction, bought a ticket, and got on a boat to sail away in the opposite direction God had pointed him (Jonah 1:1-3).
That’s a bad attitude!
You know how the story progresses, from Jonah being tossed overboard, God sending a large fish to save the attitudinal messenger, and Jonah finally carrying out the mission God had given him.
The mission worked out the way God wanted: the people of Ninevah repented, so God did not destroy the city.
A good end to a wild story, right?
Not quite.
Jonah’s attitude got worse! Check this out (from Jonah 4):
“This change of plans greatly upset Jonah, and he became very angry. So he complained to the Lord about it: ‘Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people. Just kill me now, Lord! I’d rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen.’ The Lord replied, ‘Is it right for you to be angry about this?’ Then Jonah went out to the east side of the city and made a shelter to sit under as he waited to see what would happen to the city.”
Jonah throws a fit with God, then finds a place to sit and pout. Seems like he didn’t learn much during his time inside the belly of a fish!
How did God respond to Jonah’s ugly attitude?
First, He expressed a lovingkindness:
“And the Lord God arranged for a leafy plant to grow there, and soon it spread its broad leaves over Jonah’s head, shading him from the sun. This eased his discomfort, and Jonah was very grateful for the plant,” Jonah 4:6.
In the midst of Jonah’s bad attitude, God first reassured Jonah of His love for him with a tangible kindness.
For many of us, when someone’s attitude goes south, so does our care for them. Not so with God. Before God addressed Jonah’s attitude, He expressed His own: He loved Jonah unconditionally. That meant bad attitude and all.
Then He extended a lesson designed to reconcile Jonah to a right attitude. While God doesn’t stop loving us or caring about us when our attitudes fail, He also doesn’t tolerate a persistent petulance:
“But God also arranged for a worm! The next morning at dawn the worm ate through the stem of the plant so that it withered away. And as the sun grew hot, God arranged for a scorching east wind to blow on Jonah. The sun beat down on his head until he grew faint and wished to die. ‘Death is certainly better than living like this!’ he exclaimed. Then God said to Jonah, ‘Is it right for you to be angry because the plant died?’ ‘Yes,’ Jonah retorted, ‘even angry enough to die!’ Then the Lord said, ‘You feel sorry about the plant, though you did nothing to put it there. It came quickly and died quickly. But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people living in spiritual darkness, not to mention all the animals. Shouldn’t I feel sorry for such a great city?’” Jonah 4:7-11.
That’s where the story ends.
God responds to Jonah’s bad attitude with love and a lesson.
How do you respond to being on the receiving end of a bad attitude? What can you take away from God’s example with Jonah?
Scotty
September 13, 2011 at 10:14 pm
I was pondering the verse, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (Especially the one from James 4:6)
I see that Jonah had a terrible attitude toward Nineveh, the recipient of God's mercy. If someone has a yuck attitude toward me, I have to remind myself that I am a recipient of God's mercy as I humble myself. How someone else feels about me or treats me is irrelevant to that mercy. I live to please Him, not them.
September 13, 2011 at 10:26 pm
Yes, Jonah had a terrible attitude toward the people of Ninevah. But underneath that, he was angry with God's mercy toward them. We can never take God out of the equation of our attitude for others, it's always the underlying source to how we respond to, or treat others. If we have a bad attitude toward God, that will affect our attitude with others. Or, a bad attitude with others is a reflection of something wrong with our attitude with God. We don't want God to bless those we curse. Fortunately, God responds to us rather than reacts, that way we first experience His love before we ever get to His anger.
September 13, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Do you think he saw them unworthy of God's mercy? I wonder if there's anyone I ever consider unworthy of mercy…If so, I pray the Lord correct me too.
September 14, 2011 at 12:55 am
Yes. He was angry because God had relented, and he was sitting there pouting, watching to see if God was really going to spare them. It takes more than disdain for others to want to see God destroy them. Yet, I believe we see a lot of judgment and disdain in the church today. We have so woven cultural and political views into our theology that we look at people unmercilessly through the stereotypes we place upon them … we do this with the homeless, with the poor, with homosexuals, with people from certain regions, with people who dress differently … in a variety of ways. We have decided in our minds that we do not like people we have never seen or met! Jonah did this. And he was angry when God didn't do it. What a horrible, ugly attitude! Yet God FIRST responds with a leafy umbrella! Even in the ugliness of Jonah's attitude, He first shows His lovingkindness. Oh, how much we can learn from God! Hmmm, that answer your question? 😉
September 14, 2011 at 9:39 am
Yes, Scotty…Quite nicely, thank you. 🙂