How to ruin a meeting …

I was in a Starbucks recently when I observed a man come in to order coffee. After being greeted, he started complaining!

His complaints had nothing to do with his service that morning, but what he thought was poor customer service from previous visits. Too much “air” in his coffee, not getting a full cup, and other gripes were highlighted.

The guy set the tone for his current visit to Starbucks by walking in the door with a pre-conceived attitude loaded for his current encounter, based on past experiences. Even though he received good customer service that morning, he left as grumpy as he arrived. That’s because his stance toward Starbucks was already established and he didn’t allow for anyone that morning to make a difference toward it.

That’s a perfect recipe for how to ruin a meeting, one often repeated daily in all types of organizations.

We go to work with our minds made up that the boss is unfair, our co-workers are slackers, and we don’t get paid or appreciated enough. The result is a lousy day at work almost regardless of the actual experience because we expect a negative experience.

The same goes for going to church. We walk in “knowing” the music will be too loud, the sermon will be too long, and the people will be unauthentic. It doesn’t matter much what that Sunday’s experience will actually be like, because we’ve already pre-determined what we will think about it.

Keeping negative experiences from the past alive, and creating judgments before reality happens, creates in our minds an ugly, false view of the world around us. We only confound that problem when we don’t allow for reality to chip away at our pre-conceived notions.

Rarely can anyone adequately meet uncommunicated expectations, or improve on premature judgments already set in stone.

Attitudes developed prior to a meeting often ruin a meeting.

Scotty