The power of love …

One of the most empty and nonsensical statements ever to be uttered by man or woman is, “We’ve just grown apart.”

After three decades of counseling thousands of people, many being married couples, I’ve had more than my share of people try to use that lame excuse for why their marriage was in the throes of death. Going in different directions isn’t “growth,” it’s a choice to move from a covenant commitment to a shared life, back to pursuing a self life. At the core of this “growing apart” is at least one person in a marriage choosing to reduce, and eventually remove, their love for and toward their spouse.

It’s an incredible, thing, though, what happens when we rekindle a relationship by fanning the flames of love that had grown cold.

Evangelist and nationally-recognized marriage and family life specialist, Dr. J. Allan Petersen, tells a story recorded by newspaper columnist and minister George Crane about a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband:

• “I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me.”

Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan.

“Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that your’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him.”

With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, “Beautiful, beautiful! Will he ever be surprised!”

The wife carried out the plan with great enthusiasm. For two months she showered her husband with love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing. When she didn’t return, Crane called her.

“Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?”

“Divorce?” she exclaimed. “Never! I discovered I really do love him!”

Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion. The ability to love is established not so much by fervent promise as often repeated deeds.

This wife learned that purposely expressing love created emotions that coincided with her behavior. By choosing to act out love for her husband, this woman was loving her husband, and that intentional love transformed her and saved her marriage.

The power of love is transformational!

Not only can it save marriages and other relationships we have in life, it restored our broken relationship with God …

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him,” John 3:16-17.

God wasn’t about to leave our wrecked relationship with Him to the excuses of just “growing apart” from Him. Instead, God drenched us in His love. The result?

“We love each other because he loved us first,” 1 John 4:19.

People have differing thoughts and feelings about Valentine’s Day, but what more essential, remarkable, and vital component to life could we better celebrate than that of love?

Scotty