This might be the fastest way to ruin your children …

Wishing only for your children to be happy may well be the fastest way to ruin their lives.

At least, spiritually.

You’ve probably heard parents say, “I just want my children to be happy,” but such an objective often results in permissive parenting which can wreck the eternal lives of children.

A tragic story was recorded in the Gospel Herald by one mother who learned the hard way the terrible consequences of permissive parenting in the spiritual lives of her children …

Only a few weeks ago, a fine Christian woman who has known the Lord only seven years, the widow of a millionaire, said to me, “Pray for my boy; pray for my girl; they have no interest in the things of God. I can never get them to hear the Word of God. They are courteous and polite if I bring a servant of the Lord to my home, but they will allow no one to say a word to them, and they will not read the Bible.”

And then she added, “The worst of it is that they are what they are because I brought them up that way. Until seven years ago, I lived the life that they are living; I led them in the path they are now going. A Bible was never opened in my home until my husband died, and left me a broken-hearted woman, surrounded with all the luxuries he had given me, and I was crying out for something that could help me. Christ came to me, but it was too late to turn my children’s steps in the right way. They are treading the path on which I started them.”

Another story introduces us to the “poster boy” of permissive parents, this one recorded for us in the Old Testament. This is the story about a priest named Eli, who just wanted his sons, Hophni and Phinehas, to be happy! The resulting permissive parenting would ruin the lives of his children. So greatly did Eli’s permissiveness with his sons corrupt their lives, his boys had developed a terrible reputation …

“Now the sons of Eli were scoundrels who had no respect for the Lord or for their duties as priests …” 1 Samuel 2:12-13a.

Eli’s boys were such scoundrels that the Bible describes their reprehensible behavior like this …

“Whenever anyone offered a sacrifice, Eli’s sons would send over a servant with a three-pronged fork. While the meat of the sacrificed animal was still boiling, the servant would stick the fork into the pot and demand that whatever it brought up be given to Eli’s sons. All the Israelites who came to worship at Shiloh were treated this way. Sometimes the servant would come even before the animal’s fat had been burned on the altar. He would demand raw meat before it had been boiled so that it could be used for roasting. The man offering the sacrifice might reply, ‘Take as much as you want, but the fat must be burned first.’ Then the servant would demand, ‘No, give it to me now, or I’ll take it by force,'” 1 Samuel 2:13b-16.

Hophni and Phinehas indulged in sinful behavior because THAT is what made them happy. But such behavior did not make God happy with them:

“So the sin of these young men was very serious in the Lord’s sight, for they treated the Lord’s offerings with contempt,” 1 Samuel 2:17.

It isn’t that permissive parents like Eli don’t say anything — they often scold their children — but they don’t correct them; they stand by and allow them to continue with godless behavior in the pursuit of happiness. That was Eli’s great error …

“Now Eli was very old, but he was aware of what his sons were doing to the people of Israel. He knew, for instance, that his sons were seducing the young women who assisted at the entrance of the Tabernacle. Eli said to them, ‘I have been hearing reports from all the people about the wicked things you are doing. Why do you keep sinning? You must stop, my sons! The reports I hear among the Lord’s people are not good. If someone sins against another person, God can mediate for the guilty party. But if someone sins against the Lord, who can intercede?’ But Eli’s sons wouldn’t listen to their father …” 1 Samuel 2:22-25.

Eli was more concerned about what people were saying than he was about taking action to correct the behavior of his sons. He could give a religious-sounding scolding, but so exalted his sons that he was unwilling to remove them from service and discipline them with correction that could save them.

And they needed saving …

“… But Eli’s sons wouldn’t listen to their father, for the Lord was already planning to put them to death,” 1 Samuel 2:25b.

The remainder of the chapter is a prophecy from a man of God given to Eli revealing to him that because of his permissive parenting, God would bring an end to Eli’s family, which would include the death of his sons.

The story of Eli and his boys ends tragically, all because a dad wouldn’t do what his sons needed him to do as a father. As with so many other families, Eli would discover that permissive parenting — and caring mostly about what made his children “happy” — was the fast-track to destruction for his own children.

The most important thing as a parent is NOT the happiness of your children, but rather, the holiness of your children is what is paramount. Who Jesus Christ is to them, and their living in a New Covenant relationship with Him, towers above all other needs and priorities your children will ever have. Their souls depend on it!

Which do you care about the most: the happiness of your children, or their holiness?

Scotty