You can’t live the freedom Jesus offers without practicing self-control …

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What Jesus Christ has done for us is, truly, Good News! Through His sacrifice, He has set us free from sin so that we can live the fullness of life He designed for us as His disciples.

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life,” John 10:10.

Included in this great plan is our being provided with the Helper, the Holy Spirit, who lives in every Christian to enable, empower, and lead us into living as God’s holy children and transforming us more and more into the likeness of Jesus.

But through all this, God transforms our thinking, He doesn’t take over thinking for us. We still choose what we think, and that forms our emotions and behavior. So God has enabled us with the capacity to exercise self-control in what we choose to think and do …

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline,” 2 Timothy 1:7.

In fact, self-control is one of the “fruits” of the Spirit in our lives …

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23.

God graciously supplies us with this capacity because when we fail to practice self-control, we put ourselves back on the path to sin and finding ourselves enslaved from sin’s terrible consequences. Christian Cheong shares a story that powerfully illustrates the vital need for self-control in our lives:

    In the book, The Three Edwards, Thomas Costain described the life of Raynald III, a 14th century duke in what is now Belgium. Grossly overweight, Raynald was commonly called by his Latin nickname, Crassus, which means “fat.”

    After a violent quarrel, Raynald’s younger brother, Edward, led a successful revolt against him. Edward captured Raynald but did not kill him. Instead, he built a room around Raynald in the Nieuwkerk castle and promised him he could regain his title and property as soon as he was able to leave the room.

    This would not have been difficult for most people since the room had several windows and a door of near-normal size, and none was locked or barred. The problem was Raynald’s size. To regain his freedom, he needed to lose weight. But Edward knew his older brother, and each day he sent a variety of delicious foods. Instead of dieting his way out of prison, Raynald grew fatter.

    When Duke Edward was accused of cruelty, he had a ready answer: “My brother is not a prisoner. He may leave when he so wills.” Raynald stayed in that room for ten years and wasn’t released until after Edward died in battle. By then his health was so ruined he died within a year … a prisoner of his own appetite.

LEARNING TO PRACTICE SELF-CONTROL
For many of the people who come for counseling, a lack of self-control is a real trouble-producing problem in their lives. Learning how to practice self-control is a critical need for them. Let’s take a look at some of the steps taken in learning how to practice self-control.

First, we need a fresh understanding that, to have that “rich and satisfying” life Jesus wants for us, we need to be in harmony with:

    • Our environment.
    • Others.
    • Self.
    • God.

When we are out of harmony in any of these areas, we lack the peace Christ promised, and it’s often because of a lack of self-control. So we need to identify why we’re out of harmony in any of these areas. There are some key root issues that generally are the cause for our being out of harmony with God, self, others, or our environment:

    • Sinful human nature.
    • Physiological influences.
    • Deficits from the past.
    • Wounds from the past.
    • Discrepancies.
    • Consequences of personal sin (bad choices).

Whatever the root cause may be, our problem is that we tend to habitualize the choices we make from our bad or sinful thinking, which results in developing defective systems. A defective system looks like this:

    • Payoffs.
    • Costs.
    • Repetition.

A defective system is when we take on certain behaviors to achieve our objectives because the outcome of that behavior exceeds the cost of the behavior. When the outcome of a behavior exceeds the cost for behaving that way, we tend to repeat that behavior. For example, if lying seems to achieve outcomes we want, and so far the outcomes for lying exceeds the cost, we develop the defective system of lying.

The great danger of defective systems is that they quickly lead to our enslaving ourselves. For example, we can become so enslaved to the defective system of lying that it becomes repetitious — our habit — and eventually it will reap a harvest of negative consequences.

So let’s look at what steps for healing would be, that include finally exercising self-control. Steps for healing from defective systems are:

1. Manage the crisis. Try to not let things get any worse so that you can begin the process of making a change.
2. See relationships that model health. When we have become mired in defective systems, we often have lost sight of what right and healthy relationships look like. It’s important to refresh ourselves with seeing relationships that model health.
3. Hear truth about self and living. It’s time to face the real truth about yourself and how you’re living.
4. Understand the problem(s). Identify what the root problems are.
5. Turn toward health (do your part, which includes exercising self-control).
6. Be healed (let God do His part).
7. Grow in Christian maturity.

If you find your life plagued by deeply-rooted defective systems and the consequences of rarely or inconsistently practicing self-control, seek out the help of a competent, skilled Christian clinical therapist. A capable therapist can help you identify why your life is lacking harmony and teach you how to overcome defective systems by practicing the self-control God has enabled you to practice and the Holy Spirit wants to grow as a fruit in your life.

Scotty