If you’re banking on love, this isn’t it …

There’s a well-known Christian counselor who, for many years, has used an unusual concept in his efforts to help people understand love.

The concept he teaches is referred to as the “Love Bank.” Here’s how the counselor briefly describes the idea of interacting with people based on the condition of the “account” each person has in our Love Bank:

“Inside all of us is a Love Bank with accounts in the names of everyone we know. When these people are associated with our good feelings, ‘love units’ are deposited into their accounts, and when they are associated with our bad feelings, love units are withdrawn. We are emotionally attracted to people with positive balances and repulsed by those with negative balances. This is the way our emotions encourage us to be with people who seem to treat us well, and avoid those who seem to hurt us …

“… We like those with positive Love Bank balances and dislike those with negative balances. But if an account reaches a certain threshold, a very special emotional reaction is triggered — romantic love. We no longer simply like the person — we are in love. It’s a feeling of incredible attraction to someone of the opposite sex …”

I don’t question for a moment that many, many, many people on this planet really do unconsciously (or consciously!) treat people like the counselor describes in his “love bank” model. But if you’re banking on love, this isn’t it!

The “Love Bank” concept is an exercise in emotional indulgence, where we “like” people who treat us certain ways, dislike people who don’t contribute enough to us, and generally treat people like they have to earn their way into our lives through contributions, with our final take on everyone being a measure of our emotions about their deposits of “love units.”

Nothing could be more opposite of what Jesus Christ taught and modeled to us regarding relationships. In God’s economy, WE are the ones who are responsible for depositing “love units” into the “banks” we have for everyone and anyone …

“We love each other because he loved us first …” 1 John 4:19.

“Jesus replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’” Matthew 22:37-39.

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other,” John 13:34.

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Matthew 5:43-44.

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins,” 1 Peter 4:8.

Imagine if God would have treated us according to the Love Bank model. It would be dependent on ourselves to DO enough for God to make Him love us enough to put up with us. If we didn’t, we would be toast (no pun intended)! Instead of God using that kind of model with us, He simply chose to love us. All of us. And those of us who are His children are supposed to apply His model in our relationships with people …

“Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God,” Ephesians 5:1-2.

How do you treat people: from a Love Bank model, or by imitating God as His dear children?

Scotty