Exploring the complexity of anger …

Whenever we think about anger, those thoughts usually aren’t positive. We tend to immediately think that anger is always bad, probably because the majority of our experiences with anger have been negative.

But not all anger is bad, especially when used for positive motivation, as illustrated in this 1993 tidbit from U.S. News & World Report:

Many years ago during a Knicks-Bullets playoff game, one of the Bullets came up from behind the great Walt Frazier and punched him in the face. Strangely, the referee called a foul on Frazier. Frazier didn’t complain. His expression never changed. He simply called for the ball and put in seven straight shots to win the game, an amazing display of productive anger. If you want to get huffy about it, it was a great moral lesson as well.

Prompted by such a story, we can probably think of a time when we used anger for positive motivation, but that’s likely not the norm for most of us. Instead, we can more readily agree with this concise statement about anger from the Bible:

“Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires,” James 1:20.

Because anger more often creates turmoil in our lives, and can even be destructive, let’s dig into a deeper understanding of this topic.

WHAT AND WHY
The simple and fast answer to what is anger is that it’s a common human emotion. Even more, anger is an emotional response to a real, felt, or imagined grievance, and this response can range from a scale of emotional expressions from fleeting annoyance to full-blown rage. We become angry when we are unable to achieve a goal or experience unmet expectations. Our feelings of anger may have roots in a past or present experience, or it may be in anticipation of a future event.

Feelings of anger depend on how we interpret and react to certain situations. Everyone has their own triggers for what makes them angry, but some common ones include situations in which we feel threatened or attacked, frustrated, disappointed, afraid, or powerless.

IT’S COMPLICATED
When it comes to the complexity of anger, one researcher notes:

Anger is a complicated human response. More than any of our other emotions, anger is composed of biological reactions, thoughts, interpretations of feelings, decisions, habits, and sometimes even subconscious motives.

Anger varies from irritation and brief displays of temper to violent rages. The most common behaviors during loss of temper involve physical manifestations such as shouting, fighting, hostility, and even physical abuse. But there are also hidden angers which manifest themselves in disagreeable attitudes, negativity, cynicism, sarcasm, passive-aggressive behavior, school age nicknames, resentment, and a sullen attitude.

COMPONENTS OF ANGER
The same researcher also notes:

Anger involves an inner emotional response and an outer behavioral response. There are three components of anger: emotional, cognitive, and behavioral. These components occur simultaneously so that a person experiences them as a surge of anger. By understanding this, it is possible to see that the way anger is expressed may be sinful, but the feeling of anger itself may not be. The feeling of anger is part of a God-designed internal system which can give people energy and motivation to tackle difficult and life threatening tasks:

The Emotional Response. Feelings that we experience when we are angry are in part the result of our emotional response to a changing environment. Times of stress cause chemical changes in the body that result in increased blood flow and a larger production of blood cells to counteract infection. The liver produces more sugar to build up the body’s energy. Any unfamiliar or stressful event can produce these physical reactions and cause increased heart rate and lung function, increased digestive activity and other arousal factors. This explains the link between anger and high blood pressure.

The Cognitive Response (The Thought Process). Many times people use the expressions, “I was so mad I couldn’t see straight,” or “I just got carried away,” or “That kid makes me so mad!” These responses hide the fact there are thoughts occurring prior to and during angry feelings which affect anger expression. How people respond to anger depends upon their mental interpretation of the event. A nurse taking care of a rude patient who is dying of cancer will have more patience with that person than she will have later that day with her rude husband.

The Behavioral Response. The behavioral response to anger is made up of words or actions that people use or do not use as an expression of their angry feelings. These may range from silent sulking to violent homicide. The response may cause an explosion of overt anger behaviors (shouting, throwing, hitting), or the response may be covert behaviors (resentment, irritation, sulking), which if not dealt with, may eventually cause an “implosion” of hidden anger. This may lead to deep depression and even suicide.

ELEMENTS OF ANGER
We tend to think anger is a basic emotion, but it’s actually often a rather complex combination of underlying emotions, primarily painful emotions, such as:

Shock – This is where the initial rush of adrenaline appears and the fight or flight response begins. “I can’t believe this is happening!”

Grief – Sometimes we cry when we become angry, and grief can be the root source for that. This may come from disappointment (“I wanted you to do this, but you did that instead”) or loss (“I had this in my life, but it was taken away”).

Questioning – When we realize what happened, we immediately begin to question why it happened: “Why did you do that?” “Why did this happen?”

Assuming – When a situation occurs, we have the choice to either step back and solve problems or react with an angry emotional response. Your answers to your questions will determine whether or not you get angry: “I think you did that because you’re selfish, and you don’t care about me” or “I think this happened because I’m stupid, and I’m always going to be stupid.”

Responding – This is how we choose to respond to a situation. It might be with an emotional reaction of pouting, yelling, insulting, threatening, storming off, throwing things, hitting, or planning revenge, or it might be walking away, delaying (counting to 10), praying, or some other expressed behavior.

SIX DIMENSIONS OF ANGER EXPRESSION
According to research conducted by Ephrem Fernandez, professor of psychology at the University of Texas at San Antonio, there are six different dimensions to anger:

The direction of anger – whether it is reflection or deflection. “Reflection” is reflecting anger back to the person we consider to be the cause of our anger. Deflection is an attempt to displace the circumstances of anger onto someone else.

The locus of anger – whether it is internal or external. We tend to think anger is always directed outward toward someone or something (which is usually the case), but anger can also be internal with ourselves.

The anger reaction – whether it is retaliatory or resistant. Anger may be vengeful or protective.

The mode of anger – whether it is physical or verbal (I would add here whether it is mental – if anger is internal, what we think and our self-talk are central to the anger experience).

Anger impulsivity – whether it is controlled or uncontrolled.

Objective of anger – whether it’s restorative or punitive.

TRIGGERS
According to research regarding what triggers an angry emotional response in us conducted by Dr. Todd B. Kashdan, psychologist and professor of psychology and senior scientist at the Center for the Advancement of Well-Being at George Mason University, there are five superordinate anger triggers identified as follows:

Other people – 63.3 percent of the time other people, living or not, were blamed for being the reason for anger. Could include a social event. No face-to-face interaction required.

Psychological/physical distress – 14.3 percent of the time internal thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations served as a trigger for anger.

Intrapersonal demands – 11.2 percent of the time non-social demands or obligations that need to be completed or accomplished acted as an anger trigger.

Environment – 7.3 percent of the time a trigger for anger was the location where people can be in and all of its non-living components/possessions. Non-social situations that are blamed and are not directly related to distressing thoughts.

Diffuse/Undifferentiated – 3.9 percent of the time the source of anger is unknown or anger is spread throughout other areas of life.

ANGER TYPES AND MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
The range of anger types can vary depending on our mood and circumstance we’re in. Life Supports Counseling Group lists the ten most common types of anger, accompanied with a management strategy, as follows:

Assertive anger
Assertive anger is the most constructive type of anger expression. In this type of anger, feelings of frustration or rage are used as a catalyst for positive change. Rather than avoiding confrontation, internalizing anger, or resorting to verbal insults and physical outbursts, a person experiencing assertive anger expresses their anger in ways that create change in the world around them without causing distress or destruction. Management strategy: Assertive anger is a powerful motivator. Use assertive anger to overcome fear, address injustice ,and achieve desired outcomes in life.

Behavioral anger
Behavioral anger is expressed physically and is usually aggressive. If you’ve experienced this type of anger, you may feel so overwhelmed by your emotions that you lash out at the object of your rage. This might involve physically attacking someone, or breaking or throwing things. This type of anger can be highly unpredictable, may be fueled by substances (alcohol or drugs), and often has negative legal and interpersonal consequences. Management strategy: Philosopher Thomas Paine said “The greatest remedy for anger is delay,” and this is especially valuable advice for behavioral anger management. If you feel your anger rising, take a moment to calm down before you do something you may regret. Remove yourself from the situation if possible, and use prayer and a self-talk technique to regain control of your emotions.

Chronic anger
Chronic anger is an ongoing, generalized resentment of other people, frustration with certain circumstances, and anger toward oneself. It’s characterized by habitual irritation: the prolonged nature of this type of anger can have profoundly adverse effects on one’s health and well-being. More often than not, a deeply-seeded, unrepented sin is at the root of chronic anger. Management strategy: Spend some time reflecting on the underlying causes of your anger. If you can identify the source of your resentment, you may be able to resolve the inner conflict you’re experiencing by forgiving yourself and others for past transgressions. The process of forgiveness is powerful, and can help resolve lingering hurt and frustration.

Judgmental anger
Judgmental anger is righteously indignant. This type of anger is usually a reaction to a perceived injustice or someone else’s shortcoming. Although judgmental anger assumes a morally superior stance of justified fury, it may alienate potential allies by invalidating their difference of opinion. Management strategy: Commit to exploring the light and shade in different situations, as circumstances are rarely as simple as they seem on the surface. Other people’s perspectives can also give you valuable insight into possible solutions to life’s challenges.

Overwhelmed anger
Overwhelmed anger is an uncontrolled type of anger. It usually occurs when we feel a situation or circumstances are beyond our control, resulting in feelings of hopelessness and frustration. This type of anger is common when we’ve taken on too much responsibility, or unexpected life events have overthrown our usual capacity to cope with stress. Management strategy: It’s crucial to reach out for help if you’re experiencing overwhelmed anger. Let family, friends, your pastor, fellow church members, and professional colleagues know that you need some support, whether it’s help with babysitting, taking a family member to their medical appointments, or an extension for your school assignment or work project. By alleviating potential sources of stress, you’ll regain a sense of emotional and behavioral control again.

Passive-aggressive anger
Passive-aggressive anger is an avoidant type of anger. If this is your usual mode of anger expression, you likely try to evade all forms of confrontation and may deny or repress any feelings of frustration or fury you’re experiencing. Passive-aggressive anger may be expressed verbally as sarcasm, pointed silence, or veiled mockery, or physically in behavior such as chronic procrastination at work. Sometimes people who express anger passively aren’t even aware their actions are perceived as aggressive – this can have dire personal and professional outcomes. Management strategy: Learn assertive communication techniques and explore your fear of confrontation using “What if?” scenarios. By developing your ability to articulate your frustrations and confidently face a range of fears, you’re more likely to get your needs met in both personal and professional relationships.

Retaliatory anger
Retaliatory anger is usually an instinctual response to being confronted or attacked by someone else. It’s one of the most common types of anger, and is motivated by revenge for a perceived wrong. Retaliatory anger can also be deliberate and purposeful. It often aims to intimidate other people by asserting control over a situation or outcome, yet may only serve to escalate tensions. Management strategy: Whether your urge for retaliatory anger is impulsive or intentional, it’s important to pause and think before you act upon it. Will your angry reaction improve the situation, or only worsen relations? By choosing to diffuse the immediate conflict you can avoid the unwanted long-term consequences of revenge.

Self-abusive anger
Self-abusive anger is a shame-based type of anger. If you’ve been feeling hopeless, unworthy, humiliated, or ashamed, you might internalize those feelings and express anger via negative self-talk, self-harm, substance abuse, or eating disordered behaviur. Alternatively, you may find yourself lashing out at those around to mask feelings of low self-worth, increasing your sense of alienation. Management strategy: Learn about cognitive reframing and cognitive restructuring techniques and use them to challenge and transform any self-defeating, distorted thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing.

Verbal anger
Verbal anger is often seen as less dangerous than behavioral anger, but it can be a form of emotional and psychological abuse that deeply hurts the target of one’s anger. Verbal abuse may be expressed as furious shouting, threats, ridicule, sarcasm, intense blaming, or criticism. If you’ve lashed out at someone verbally it’s common to feel ashamed, apologetic, and regretful afterward. Management strategy: Even if the words are on the tip of your tongue, take a breath before you speak. Then another one. As tempting as it may be to blurt out the first angry response that comes to mind when you’re upset, the key to effectively managing this type of anger is simply delaying the impulse to lash out. With practice, you can curb any tendency toward verbal abuse and replace it with assertive anger expression.

Volatile anger
Volatile anger seems to come out of nowhere: if this is your type of anger, you are very quick to get upset about perceived annoyances, both big and small. Once you’ve impulsively expressed your anger, you often calm down just as quickly. Unfortunately volatile anger can be incredibly destructive, as those around you may feel they need to walk on eggshells for fear of triggering your rage. If left unchecked, volatile anger may eventually lead to violent outbursts. Management strategy: Identify the signs and physical symptoms that precede a volatile outburst, and use prayer and relaxation techniques (such as deep breathing) to stop your anger from escalating.

There are many other forms that anger can take, but these are the types that most people commonly use when they’re feeling upset and frustrated.

BIBLICAL INSIGHT ABOUT ANGER
The Bible has plenty to say about anger, all of which cannot be adequately explored here. But the issue of anger needs to be taken seriously when we understand that our anger usually is not pleasing to God:

“Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires,” James 1:20.

Although more often than not our anger doesn’t achieve the righteousness of God, every experience of anger isn’t a sin. It is possible to become angry for good reasons, the key is this: “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,” Ephesians 4:26 (NASB). There are times when it is appropriate to be “righteously indignant” but such emotion must be expressed in a way that is not sinful. Aristotle is credited for saying, “Anyone can become angry — that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way — this is not easy.”

For that reason, scripture more often warns us against becoming angry. Let’s look at a few more biblical insights about anger:

“Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool,” Ecclesiastes 7:9.

“Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper — it only leads to harm,” Psalm 37:8.

“People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness,” Proverbs 14:29.

“A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare,” Proverbs 15:1.

“A hot-tempered person starts fights; a cool-tempered person stops them,” Proverbs 15:18.

“Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs,” Proverbs 19:11.

“But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell,” Matthew 5:22.

“Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the Lord,” Romans 12:19.

“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God,” Galatians 5:19-21.

“And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil,” Ephesians 4:26-27.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you,” Ephesians 4:31-32.

“Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming. You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language,” Colossians 3:6-7.

“In every place of worship, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy,” 1 Timothy 2:8.

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires,” James 1:19-20.

If anger is a negative problem for you, let me encourage you to get help. Talk with your pastor, or seek professional help from a clinical therapist. Enlist support from family, friends, and fellow church members. You can learn to experience the emotion of anger in a healthy manner, and overcome negative anger that can be destructive to you and others.

Scotty