Relax! Your good mental health depends on it …

If you were tasked to describe the “average” person in the 21st century, the one word that would NOT spring to mind would be “relaxed”! Instead, you would likely think about how “stressed” people are today.

Someone (source unknown), offered up an “antithesis” of Psalm 23 to describe how we live today …

The clock is my dictator, I shall not rest. It makes me lie down only when exhausted. It leads me into deep depression. It hounds my soul.

It leads me in circles of frenzy, for activities’ sake. Even though I run frantically from task to task, I will never get it all done, for my ideal is with me. Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me. They demand performance from me, beyond the limits of my schedule. They anoint my head with migraines. My in-basket overflows.

Surely fatigue and time pressures shall follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever.

Sound miserable?

It is!

Yet it’s an accurate description of how many people choose to live their lives.

It isn’t just that people live stress-filled lives, but rather many live lives that reach excessive stress levels. Keith Wehnert, in his book, “Stress/Unstress,” identifies several signs that a person’s stress level is excessive:

1. Decision-making becomes difficult (both major and minor kinds).
2. Excessive daydreaming or fantasizing about “getting away from it all.”
3. Increased use of cigarettes and/or alcohol.
4. Increased use of tranquilizers and “uppers.”
5. Thoughts trail off while speaking or writing.
6. Excessive worrying about all things.
7. Sudden outbursts of temper and hostility.
8. Paranoid ideas and mistrust of friends and family.
9. Forgetfulness for appointments, deadlines, dates.
10. Frequent spells of brooding and feeling of inadequacy.
11. Reversals in usual behavior.

While circumstances may bring sources of stress, many people have developed traits that make them characteristically “stress-prone.” Those traits include:

1. Plans day unrealistically.
2. First to arrive, last to leave.
3. Always in a hurry.
4. Makes no plan for relaxation.
5. Feels guilty about doing anything other than work.
6. Sees unforeseen problem as a setback or disaster.
7. Is always thinking about several other things when working.
8. Feels a need to be recognized and overextends because of this.

MORE DANGEROUS THAN YOU THINK
Stress is more than the fabled heroic badge of the successful, it can be far more dangerous than you think. Patrick Keeffe edited a report for Healthline identifying just nine of several ways that stress can be dangerous:

• High-pressure workdays, long commutes, raising kids, not enough sleep or exercise, trying to make ends meet. The accumulated stresses of everyday life can damage your health in irreversible ways — from early aging to heart problems to long-term disability.

Some people believe stress makes them perform better. But that’s rarely true. Research consistently shows the opposite — that stress usually causes a person to make more mistakes.

Besides making you forget where you put your keys, stress also can have dramatic negative impacts on your health.

Here are nine examples:

1. Stress can make it difficult to control your emotions. A 2013 study by neuroscientists found even mild levels of stress can impair our ability to control our emotions. In the study, researchers taught subjects stress control techniques. But after participants were put under mild stress — by having their hands dunked in icy water — they could not easily calm themselves down when shown pictures of snakes or spiders.

“Our results suggest that even mild stress, such as that encountered in daily life, may impair the ability to use cognitive techniques known to control fear and anxiety,” said lead author Candace Raio, Ph.D.

2, Stress can promote disease. Some people are more prone to certain diseases, and chronic stress can give these conditions the green light. Stress has been linked to illnesses that include cancer, lung disease, fatal accidents, suicide, and cirrhosis of the liver. Researchers at Johns Hopkins University have discovered that children exposed to chronic stress are more likely to develop a mental illness if they are genetically predisposed.

3. Stress can affect intimacy with your spouse. A 1984 study found that stress can affect a man’s body weight, testosterone levels, and sexual desire. Numerous studies have shown that stress — especially performance anxiety — can lead to impotence.

4. Stress can ruin your teeth and gums. Some people respond to stressful situations through nervous tics or by grinding their teeth. While people often grind their teeth unconsciously or when they sleep, it can do lasting damage to your jaw and wear your teeth thin. A multi-university study in 2012 also linked stress to gum disease. Researchers concluded pressures of marriage, parenthood, work, or lack of romantic involvement were factors in periodontal disease. But those at greatest risk were people who became highly emotional when dealing with stress caused by their finances.

5. Stress can ruin your heart. Stress can physically damage your heart muscle. Stress damages your heart because stress hormones increase your heart rate and constrict your blood vessels. This forces your heart to work harder, and increases your blood pressure. According to the American Institute of Stress, the incidence rate of heart attacks and sudden death increases after major stress inducing incidents, like hurricanes, earthquakes, and tsunamis.

6. Stress can make you gain weight. Researchers at the University of Miami concluded when people find themselves in stressful situations, they are likely to consume 40 percent more food than normal. Those scientists recommended turning off the nightly newscast before eating dinner, to keep bad news — and overeating — at bay.

7. Stress can make you look older. Chronic stress contributes significantly to premature aging. Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, discovered that stress shortens telomeres — structures on the end of chromosomes — so that new cells can’t grow as quickly. This leads to the inevitable signs of aging: wrinkles, weak muscles, poor eyesight, and more.

8. Stress weakens your immune system. The connection between mind and body is often underestimated. But everyone has experienced a cold when they can least afford to. That’s because the high demands stress puts on the body make the immune system suffer, which makes you more vulnerable to colds and infections.

9. Stress can lead to long-term disability. The potential dangers created by even mild stress should not be underestimated. They can lead to long-term disability serious enough to render you unable to work. Researchers reached this conclusion after their five-year study of 17,000 Swedish working adults, ages 18 to 64, published in 2011 by the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health. One in four study subjects in the Stockholm area who had mild stress were awarded disability benefits for physical conditions like angina, high blood pressure, and stroke. Nearly two-thirds drew benefits for a mental illness.

RELAX! YOUR GOOD MENTAL HEALTH DEPENDS ON IT
Learning to relax, and specifically learning to employ relaxation techniques, can result in multiple positive benefits for you, as reported by the Mayo Clinic …

• Relaxation isn’t only about peace of mind or enjoying a hobby. Relaxation is a process that decreases the effects of stress on your mind and body. Relaxation techniques can help you cope with everyday stress and with stress related to various health problems, such as heart disease and pain.

When faced with numerous responsibilities and tasks or the demands of an illness, relaxation techniques may not be a priority in your life. But that means you might miss out on the health benefits of relaxation.

Practicing relaxation techniques can have many benefits, including:

• • Slowing heart rate.
  • Lowering blood pressure.
  • Slowing your breathing rate.
  • Improving digestion.
  • Maintaining normal blood sugar levels.
  • Reducing activity of stress hormones.
  • Increasing blood flow to major muscles.
  • Reducing muscle tension and chronic pain.
  • Improving concentration and mood.
  • Improving sleep quality.
  • Lowering fatigue.
  • Reducing anger and frustration.
  • Boosting confidence to handle problems.

To get the most benefit, use relaxation techniques along with other positive coping methods.

RELAXATION TECHNIQUES
It’s easy in the world we live in to habitualize ourselves with behaviors that make us stress-prone and stressed-out people. But you can learn to de-habitualize those negative behaviors and habitualize in their place a variety of things that can help you reduce and manage stress, such as any (or all!) of the following:

Practice the spiritual disciplines. As faithful Christians, we should be doing this already, but the truth is we’re often woefully lacking in this department. But time made for Bible study and meditating on the Word of God can calm our minds and hearts; as we listen to God speak through the pages of scripture, we’re comforted in knowing He is sovereign, that He really does have everything under control, and that He cares for us. Talking with God (prayer) reduces life’s tensions as we know God hears our needs and desires, and we’re assured that He always does what is best for us. But just knowing we can talk to the God of all creation about anything and everything at any time and anywhere helps to remove fear and panic from our lives. Making time for praise and worship during the week (outside a church service just on Sunday mornings) helps us turn our thoughts and concerns to God and think about things above rather than things here on Earth. And fellowship with other Christians allows for opportunity for mutual encouragement and support in living life. Practicing the basic Christian disciplines not only is essential for our spiritual well-being, but it helps us be of sound mind as well.

Physical exercise. The data is undeniable — physical exercise is highly effective in helping reduce stress! The American Psychological Association reports the following regarding exercise being a healthy stress reliever:

• When it comes to good health, physical activity matters. Exercise and physical activity improve overall fitness, body mass index, and cardiovascular and muscular health. Studies even show exercise can relieve stress, reduce depression, and improve cognitive function.

Although many respondents to the Stress in America™ survey report they experience positive benefits from exercise, such as feeling good about themselves, being in a good mood and feeling less stressed, few say they make the time to exercise every day. In fact, the survey found that more than one-third of adults (37 percent) report exercising less than once a week or not at all. Only 17 percent of adults report exercising daily.

Fifty-three percent of adults say they feel good about themselves after exercising, 35 percent say it puts them in a good mood, and 30 percent say they feel less stressed.

Fewer than half (43 percent) of adults say they exercise to manage stress and 39 percent say they have skipped exercise or physical activity in the past month when they were feeling stressed.

Sixty-two percent of adults who say they exercise or walk to help manage stress say the technique is very or extremely effective. Forty-three percent of adults who report exercising specifically to help manage stress say they skipped exercise or physical activity in the past month when they were stressed.

Harvard Medical School also sings the praise of exercise as a healthy stress reliever …

• Aerobic exercise is key for your head, just as it is for your heart. You may not agree at first; indeed, the first steps are the hardest, and in the beginning, exercise will be more work than fun. But as you get into shape, you’ll begin to tolerate exercise, then enjoy it, and finally depend on it.

Regular aerobic exercise will bring remarkable changes to your body, your metabolism, your heart, and your spirits. It has a unique capacity to exhilarate and relax, to provide stimulation and calm, to counter depression and dissipate stress. It’s a common experience among endurance athletes and has been verified in clinical trials that have successfully used exercise to treat anxiety disorders and clinical depression. If athletes and patients can derive psychological benefits from exercise, so can you.

How can exercise contend with problems as difficult as anxiety and depression? There are several explanations, some chemical, others behavioral.

The mental benefits of aerobic exercise have a neurochemical basis. Exercise reduces levels of the body’s stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that are the body’s natural painkillers and mood elevators. Endorphins are responsible for the “runner’s high” and for the feelings of relaxation and optimism that accompany many hard workouts — or, at least, the hot shower after your exercise is over.

Behavioral factors also contribute to the emotional benefits of exercise. As your waistline shrinks and your strength and stamina increase, your self-image will improve. You’ll earn a sense of mastery and control, of pride and self-confidence. Your renewed vigor and energy will help you succeed in many tasks, and the discipline of regular exercise will help you achieve other important lifestyle goals.

Exercise and sports also provide opportunities to get away from it all and to either enjoy some solitude or to make friends and build networks. “All men,” wrote St. Thomas Aquinas, “need leisure.” Exercise is play and recreation; when your body is busy, your mind will be distracted from the worries of daily life and will be free to think creatively.

Almost any type of exercise will help. Many people find that using large muscle groups in a rhythmic, repetitive fashion works best; call it “muscular meditation,” and you’ll begin to understand how it works. Walking and jogging are prime examples. Even a simple 20-minute stroll can clear the mind and reduce stress. But some people prefer vigorous workouts that burn stress along with calories. That’s one reason ellipticals are so popular. And the same stretching exercises that help relax your muscles after a hard workout will help relax your mind as well.

One note: always consult a physician before starting any new personal exercise program.

Progressive muscle relaxation. This is something I’ve recommended to many of my clients for a couple reasons. First, it is almost impossible to feel stressed when your body is physically relaxed. Stress results in our tensing our muscles; progressive muscle relaxation is a simple and effective means of releasing that tension. Second, this is a very simple technique that can be done anywhere, anytime. For a little more information, and specific steps for how to do this technique, click here and check out the article, “Progressive Muscle Relation for Stress and Insomnia.”

Deep breathing technique. The more stressed and anxious we become, the more shallow our breathing gets. In fact, many of us without realizing it have developed a breathing habit that is similar to panting – very short, shallow, and fast breaths. The more shallow our breathing becomes, the less effective we are at properly oxygenating our bodies, resulting in various symptoms from feelings of stress, to triggering panic attacks, to feeling like you’re going to faint. According to the American Institute of Stress, abdominal breathing for 20 to 30 minutes each day will reduce anxiety and reduce stress. Deep breathing increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of calmness.

Practicing deep breathing is very simple: take a deep breath in, and then release it, very, very slowly. Repeat the process.

Some people have so habitualized a shallow breathing pattern that they need help to dehabitualize from the bad habit and rehabitualize to healthier, deeper breathing. One treatment that is particularly effective for doing this, and for reducing chronic stress, is biofeedback. You can learn more about this treatment in my blog post on that topic by clicking here.

Reframe your thinking. At the core of our stress is our thinking. Comprehend this: our thoughts create our emotions, and the combination of our thoughts and emotions create our behavior. The more irrational and distorted our thinking becomes, the more stressed we become. A constant flow of negative self-talk generates emotions of panic and fear, and stimulates the “fight or flight” response that drives stress. Learning to reframe or redirect your thoughts/self-talk is critical for reducing and managing stress. To learn more about this, and how to change your thinking, check out these four posts that provide more specific information:

• • Click here for “What reframing your thoughts means …”
  • Click here for “Talking our way out of harmony …”
  • Click here for “Learn how to regulate your emotions instead of being driven by them …”
  • Click here for “10 patterns of distorted thinking …”

Additionally, teach yourself to avoid ruminating (worrying), which is usually only an exercise of negative and irrational self-talk that results in generating stress and a greater potential for failure. Keeping a journal is a positive technique for building self-awareness and being able to redirect self-talk.

Laugh! It is true that laughter is good medicine, for both our minds and bodies! Even scripture teaches us, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength” (Proverbs 17:22). As our self-talk plays over and over in our minds a plethora of irrational thoughts, it stirs stress that tenses our muscles; laughter calms our minds and physically releases the tension in our body. To learn more about my recommendation to add some humor to life, click here.

R&R (rest and recreation). Much of our stress comes from a self-imposed drivenness, overloading our schedules, and not taking adequate time for rest and recreation. You need to change that! Building rest and recreation into your life is easy to do if you avoid generating thoughts and feelings of false guilt for slowing down to play more. Adding some R&R into your life can be as simple as making time to enjoy a good book (not related to your profession!), soak in a warm bath, listen to soothing music, make time for engaging in a hobby or art therapy, creating time for good conversations and fun times with friends — in short, doing some things you enjoy. At the beginning of the year, plan a time for vacation, schedule it with your employer, and then stick to it!

Sleep. We’ve learned a lot over the last several years at just how significantly sleep (most specifically, a lack of it) impacts our lives in every way — spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally — and that includes having a direct impact on our stress levels. To learn more, check out my blog post, “Can’t sleep well? Try taking these steps” by clicking here.

Healthy nutrition. Yes, stress and nutrition do have an important relationship! To learn more, check out the article, “How does stress impact nutrition?” by clicking here.

Increase self-discipline. The more stressed we become, the more helpless we feel. But that isn’t the reality that God has provided. Here’s the truth:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline,” 2 Timothy 1:7.

Just by engaging and practicing the capacity for self-discipline, we can reduce and manage our stress. In fact, in order for important changes to be made in our lives, we must learn to heighten the practice of self-discipline. Ways of exercising self-discipline that directly reduces and manages our stress and improves our lives include things like:

• • Don’t start your day in a rush. You may have to set your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier, but learn to get up, have a healthy breakfast, and have a good start to your day rather than practicing a habit of beginning your day in a rush. By starting each day with a rush, you set into motion attitudes and behavior that stoke stress! Stop it!
  • Learning to manage your time.
  • Improving your ability for problem-solving (for a model for problem-solving, click here).
  • Organize yourself! Persistent lack of organization fuels continued stress.
  • Don’t rely on your memory, learn to write things down.
  • Learn to say no to additional projects at work, and other things that will overburden your schedule and yourself.

Build a personal support system. Trying to do everything in life alone will overwhelm you. Life is to be lived in close fellowship with others who sometimes help us bear our burdens, as we also do for them. Make sure you have a personal support system of family, friends, church family, and perhaps others who you can talk to and rely on for being able to live well, for God’s glory.

See a mental health professional. The research is overwhelming that counseling is very effective for helping people reduce and manage their stress. Do not hesitate to make an appointment with a competent clinical therapist to help you learn how you can enjoy life more fully by overcoming negative or chronic stress.

Finally, I recently heard a piece of advice I thought was great insight for helping us brighten our days, lighten our burdens, and contain our stress. It’s this: add an ounce of love to everything you do!

Scotty