A promise of resilience …

How do you get through the hard knocks in life?

What is it that keeps you going when times really are tough?

What is it that keeps you mentally healthy when your circumstances in life test and try you?

There is something mental health professionals have identified as key to maintaining mental health through the ups and downs of life, and it’s something God promises to those who trust in Him. That “something” is resilience.

“The Hugging Tree” is an illustrated children’s book that tells the story of resilience by relating a tale of a little tree growing all alone on a cliff by a vast and mighty sea. Through thundering storms and the cold of winter, the tree holds fast. Sustained by the natural elements and the kindness and compassion of one little boy, eventually the tree grows until it can hold and shelter others.

The resilience of the Hugging Tree calls to mind the potential in all of us: to thrive, despite times of struggle and difficulty. To nurture hope and resolve. To dream and to grow, just where we are.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), it’s learning and exercising resilience in our own storms in life that help us thrive when put to the test:

• How do people deal with difficult events that change their lives? The death of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness, terrorist attacks, and other traumatic events: these are all examples of very challenging life experiences. Many people react to such circumstances with a flood of strong emotions and a sense of uncertainty.

Yet people generally adapt well over time to life-changing situations and stressful conditions. What enables them to do so? It involves resilience, an ongoing process that requires time and effort and engages people in taking a number of steps.

WHAT IS RESILIENCE?
The APA defines resilience like this:

• Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. It means “bouncing back” from difficult experiences.

Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. People commonly demonstrate resilience. One example is the response of many Americans to the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks and individuals’ efforts to rebuild their lives.

Being resilient does not mean that a person doesn’t experience difficulty or distress. Emotional pain and sadness are common in people who have suffered major adversity or trauma in their lives. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress.

Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.

KEY FACTORS
Research has identified that a primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models, and offer encouragement and reassurance help bolster a person’s resilience. Other factors identified through research that are associated with resilience include:

• • The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.
  • A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities.
  • Skills in communication and problem solving.
  • The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses.

All of these are factors people can develop in themselves.

HOW TO DEVELOP RESILIENCE
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to any person building resilience. Developing resilience is a personal journey. People do not all react the same to traumatic and stressful life events. An approach to building resilience that works for one person might not work for another. People use varying strategies. The APA suggests 10 ways to build resilience:

1. Make connections. Good relationships with close family members, friends, or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.

2. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.

3. Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.

4. Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”

5. Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.

6. Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality, and heightened appreciation for life.

7. Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.

8. Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion. Think rationally!

9. Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.

10. Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.

A PROMISE OF RESILIENCE
In spite of our best human efforts, we are limited in our capacity … but God is not!

The Bible overflows with the greatest encouragement we could possibly have when it comes to our need for resilience – most specifically, that God promises to provide us with the resilience needed for a victorious life! This includes Jesus’ promise that He will never leave or forsake, the gift of the Holy Spirit who actually dwells in every disciple of Jesus to teach them all truth and direct them, and being adopted into God’s own family that is called to provide love, care, and support throughout life.

Take a moment to consider just a few scriptures that reflect God enabling us to be resilient …

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline,” 2 Timothy 1:7.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand,” Isaiah 41:10.

“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us,” Romans 8:37.

“A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power,” Ephesians 6:10.

” For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength,” Philippians 4:13.

And Jesus, understanding that we would be bruised and battered by storms of life, identified Himself as key to our resilience: “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash,” Matthew 7:24-27.

A BIBLICAL CASE STUDY IN RESILIENCE
Have you ever had such difficult times in life you felt like you would be defeated? Perhaps even die?

So did the apostle Paul.

He relates one such experience that demonstrates how God provided the means for resiliency at a time in his life that was so difficult he thought he might not make it …

“We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us,” 2 Corinthians 1:8-10.

God has promised to be our reliable source for resilience in this life, and we see time and again in the Bible that God keeps that promise!

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit,” Jeremiah 17:7-8.

CONCLUSION
As you see from the ideas above, there’s much you can do to build your resilience. But ultimately, we need to rely on God for the full measure of strength and endurance (resilience) we’ll need to see us through this life, and to be able to maintain good mental health instead of drowning in despair.

Scotty