Let’s bust a big myth about relationships …

I thoroughly enjoy opportunities for myth-busting because it’s the act of replacing false perceptions for facts or truth.

So how about we bust a big myth regarding relationships?

Good, I’m glad you’re on board! So here we go …

You’ve probably at some time heard someone say “Relationships are 50/50” or “Marriage is 50/50.” The idea is that both persons in a relationship, or in a marriage, are supposed to contribute 50 percent to the relationship.

False! That’s definitely a myth!

Relationships, whether a marriage or a friendship, are whole-hearted endeavors that require all of ourselves. Applying only a half-hearted commitment within a relationship will result in conflict and possibly even failure of the relationship or marriage.

That myth is busted!

So, we can say that relationships or marriages are really 100/100, right?

Wrong.

That’s also a myth. In theory, relationships should be 100/100, but in practical living out of a relationship, it’s not possible to always be at 100/100. Sometimes we’re physically ill, or mentally ill, or overburdened, depressed, stressed, or otherwise troubled and we’re momentarily lacking in bringing our best, our whole selves, to the forefront of our relationships. That means sometimes relationships and marriages are 60/40, or 70/30, or some other “percentage” because sometimes we need to help bear the load of the person’s burden. During those times, the other person may be contributing a little less, and you may be contributing a little more.

That’s called love!

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ,” Galatians 6:2.

Trouble can also enter into a relationship or marriage when one person demands a 100/100 perfectionism from the other person. Life just doesn’t flow that way. While for many, on most days, 100/100 might be the norm, you might find yourself exhausted at the end of the day, and your spouse say to you after dinner, “Just stay here on the couch and relax for a while, I’ll wash and put away the dishes.” That act of love disturbs the “100/100 balance.”

And it should.

Relationships and marriages are whole-hearted endeavors, but ones lived out by imperfect people who need to love one another through the challenges of life. Put your whole self into it, but also be willing to routinely help your partner shoulder their burdens, as they also do that for you.

Scotty