Mental illness is not something that can be shrugged off or laughed away …

Let’s be honest: It takes a sizable dose of ignorance (lack of knowledge, information) to think an illness can be shrugged off or dismissed with a laugh … including mental illness.

Many people both inside and outside the church stigmatize people diagnosed with mental illness as being deficient in a uniquely negative way. Most people who do this act from sheer ignorance (again, ignorance = lack of knowledge, information); too many do so because of the ignorance passed on to them from church leaders who don’t understand mental illness and/or psychology and publicly speak of them disparagingly; and others because they just don’t care.

Yet many today still think nothing of telling someone with a mental illness to “suck it up,” “shrug it off,” or “just distract yourself” …

… kind of like the experience of a man who, in 1835, visited a doctor in Florence, Italy. He was filled with anxiety and exhausted from lack of sleep. He couldn’t eat, and he avoided his friends. The doctor examined him and found that he was in prime physical condition. Concluding his patient needed to have a good time, the physician told him about a circus in town and its star performer, a clown named Grimaldi. Night after night he had the people rolling in the aisles.

“You must go and see him,” the doctor advised. “Grimaldi is the world’s funniest clown. He’ll make you laugh and cure your sadness.”

“No,” replied the despairing man, “he can’t help me. You see, I am Grimaldi!”

So how should you respond to someone you know who has a mental illness? A multitude of articles have been written sharing lists of things to do and not do, and things to say and not say. Let me give you just four key ways to respond to someone you know with a mental illness:

Love them. We shouldn’t even have to guess at responding in this manner, it should be our default response to anyone and everyone! The Bible teaches us to love everyone, from our family and friends, to our neighbors and strangers, even including our enemies. Someone who is suffering, whether it be from a physical ailment or a mental illness, first and most need to be loved … like everyone else. Because people with mental illness are often not understood or misunderstood, many people withdraw from them, leaving those with mental illness truly lonely when they’re already feeling that way. So make your first response to those you know with mental illness that of loving them.

Listen and learn. Don’t “play counselor” and try to re-diagnose their troubles. Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t interrogate them or try to “teach” them. Start by applying yourself to earnestly understanding them by listening to them, and learning about them from what they have to say. Ask open-ended questions that invites and welcomes them to share whatever part of their story and experience they are willing to share.

Do some homework. If your best friend told you they had a physical disease, you might do some research so you could better understand what your friend is experiencing and what can help them. Do the same when you interact with someone with a mental illness; after listening and learning from them, make some time to do your own homework so that you can educate yourself about what they are experiencing and what could help them.

Offer to support and serve them as you can. How you can do this depends on the person, their diagnosis, and their overall needs. Some people may need reminders to take their medicine, do their therapy homework, or may need transportation to appointments for treatment. Others might benefit from encouragement in maintaining a healthy lifestyle (e.g., nutrition, recreation and exercise, sleep habits). If you listen and learn, you can identify ways you can support and serve someone who could use your help, support, and encouragement. Jesus set an example for us to serve those who are suffering or in need.

A final note, but an important one. Research has soundly substantiated that treatment from competent mental health and/or medical professionals can have significantly positive outcomes for people suffering from a mental illness, but the key is that they need to get this professional help. If someone you know who you have loved, listened to, and learned from about their mental illness is NOT getting professional help, then by all means encourage that they do so. If possible or necessary, offer to help them find and get to the skilled help they need.

Scotty