Strategies for improving your emotional health …

When you think of the topic of emotions, you might think you’ve experienced dozens of them. You might be surprised to know there really aren’t that many different emotions we human beings experience.

During the 1970s, psychologist Paul Eckman identified six basic emotions that he suggested were universally experienced in all human cultures. The emotions he identified were happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger. He later expanded his list of basic emotions to include such things as pride, shame, embarrassment, and excitement.

Just two years ago Alan S. Cowen and Dacher Keltner PhD from the University of California, Berkeley had the results of a study they led published in the Proceedings of National Academy of Sciences which claims human beings express at least 27 distinct emotions.

The significance of emotions isn’t so much the number of them we experience, but how we process them and the impact we allow them to have in our lives – thus the importance of emotional wellness. The National Institutes of Health defines “emotional wellness” as follows: “Emotional wellness is the ability to successfully handle life’s stresses and adapt to change and difficult times.”

EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH A LAWN MOWER
Some of us deal with life’s stresses and can adapt to change and difficult times more easily than can others. For some of us, we can quickly find ourselves emotionally involved with something as simple as our lawn mower, like this story the late Eugene Peter shared in his book, “Run With Horses”:

A few years ago I was in my backyard with my lawnmower tipped on its side. I was trying to get the blade off so I could sharpen it. I had my biggest wrench attached to the nut but couldn’t budge it. I got a four-foot length of pipe and slipped it over the wrench handle to give me leverage, and I leaned on that — still unsuccessfully. Next I took a large rock and banged on the pipe. By this time I was beginning to get emotionally involved with my lawnmower. Then my neighbor walked over and said that he had a lawnmower like mine once and that, if he remembered correctly, the threads on the bolt went the other way. I reversed my exertions and, sure enough, the nut turned easily.

Whatever evokes our emotions, whether it’s wrestling with a lawn mower, attempting to navigate rush hour traffic, or the different relationships in our lives, key to our emotional health is reckoning with our emotions, something Brene Brown explains in her book, “Rising Strong”:

In navigation, the term reckoning, as in dead reckoning, is the process of calculating where you are. To do that, you have to know where you’ve been and what factors influenced how you got to where you now are (speed, course, wind, etc.). Without reckoning, you can’t chart a future course. In the rising strong process, we can’t chart a brave new course until we recognize exactly where we are, get curious about how we got there, and decide where we want to go. Ours is an emotional reckoning. There is a clear pattern among the women and men who demonstrate the ability to rise strong from hurt or adversity — they reckon with emotion. The word reckon comes from the Middle English rekenen, meaning to narrate or make an account. The rising strong reckoning has two deceptively simple parts: (1) engaging with our feelings, and (2) getting curious about the story behind the feelings — what emotions we’re experiencing and how they are connected to our thoughts and behaviors.

STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVING YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH
What are some ways we can reckon with our emotions? As part of October’s national Emotional Wellness Month, the national Institutes of Health suggest six strategies for improving your emotional wellness:

1. Brighten your outlook. Behavioral scientists say people who are emotionally well have fewer negative emotions and are able to bounce back from difficulties faster. This quality is called resilience (to learn more about resilience, check out three blog posts I’ve written on the subject by clicking here, here, and here). Another sign of emotional wellness is being able to hold onto positive emotions longer and appreciate the good times.

2. Reduce stress. Everyone feels stressed from time to time. Stress can give you a rush of energy when it’s needed most. But if stress lasts a long time — a condition known as chronic stress — those “high-alert” changes become harmful rather than helpful. Learning healthy ways to cope with stress can also boost your resilience (check out my blog post, “Find your stress points and then reduce your stress!” by clicking here)..

3. Get quality sleep. To fit in everything we want to do in our day, we often sacrifice sleep. But sleep affects both mental and physical health. It’s vital to your well-being. When you’re tired, you can’t function at your best. Sleep helps you think more clearly, have quicker reflexes and focus better. Take steps to make sure you regularly get a good night’s sleep (check out my blog post, “Can’t sleep well? Try taking these steps …” by clicking here).

4. Cope with loss. When someone you love dies, your world changes. There is no right or wrong way to mourn. Although the death of a loved one can feel overwhelming, most people can make it through the grieving process with the support of family and friends. Learn healthy ways to help you through difficult times (check out my blog post, “Coping with grief …” by clicking here).

5. Strengthen social connections. Social connections might help protect health and lengthen life. Scientists are finding that our links to others can have powerful effects on our health — both emotionally and physically. Whether with spouses, family, friends, neighbors, or others, social connections can influence our biology and well-being (check out my book, “Doing Life Together” by clicking here).

6. Be mindful. The concept of mindfulness is simple. This ancient practice is about being completely aware of what’s happening in the present — of all that’s going on inside and all that’s happening around you. It means not living your life on “autopilot.” Becoming a more self-aware person requires commitment and practice (check out my blog post, “Making time for self-examination …” by clicking here).

In addition to these simple strategies, you might also want to check out my blog post, “25 ways to foster good mental health …” by clicking here.

THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL WELLNESS
Those are good recommendations made by the National Institutes of Health for a national audience, but it misses one key recommendation. The best thing you can do for your emotional wellness is to discover the peace that Jesus Christ offers to all who follow Him …

“I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid,” John 14:27.

Disciples of Jesus can know this promised peace regardless of the circumstances they face. In fact, Jesus tells us life will have many difficulties, but we can have peace because He has overcome and by being faithful to His teaching we can overcome as well:

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world,” John 16:33.

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash,” Matthew 7:24-27.

IF YOU NEED HELP, GET IT
A final note — it you find yourself struggling with managing your emotions, and things like prayer, talking with a family member or friend, etc., aren’t enough to help you, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a competent mental health professional. Sometimes a few sessions with a skilled therapist can be just what we need to help us regain a positive regulation of our emotions.

Scotty