Making time for family …

If you surveyed “average Americans” about what their family spends its time on, you’d likely hear their time is devoured by careers, children’s school activities, and chores for general living, with very little “family time” remaining.

No time for family is also a problem in Japan. Pastor David Dykes tells of how one Japanese businesswoman addressed the issue of no time for family:

In Japan, you can rent a family. Elderly Japanese who are isolated from their children by the frantic pace of modern life can rent a “family” for lunch and a few hours. Just call Nippon Kokasei Honbu and ask for a son, daughter, grandchild, whatever relative you want, and that type will show up at your door and greet you as if they haven’t seen you in years. Of course the service isn’t cheap: three hours with your family cost $1,130, plus transportation.

Satsuki Ohiwa founded the business in 1990 when, as a businesswoman, she was too busy to visit her mother. Company staff visited her instead, and Ohiwa deemed it a success. Ohiwa’s observation of her customers is not surprising. She said, “What is common about our clients is that they are thirsty for human love.”

While there are some things that dominate your calendar out of necessity, ultimately you decide what you do with your time, and how you spend the time your family has. Today’s families are lacking four important elements that make for rich times together as a family.

1. Relational time. Modern parents seem to think short conversations on the way to a school activity to be the normal and acceptable definition of “relational time” but it isn’t. Your family needs more than a chauffeur who spends a few minutes quizzing them on the way to an athletic practice. To foster the strong bonds of love and relationship, your family needs some time just for relating with each other. That’s time primarily devoted just to be and interact with each other and not something done secondarily on your way to some other primary commitment.

2. Recreational time. You’ve probably heard the old saying, “The family that prays together, stays together.” It’s also true the family that plays together, stays together. Recreational time can be a part of your relational time, where you set aside all of the duties and responsibilities of life just to spend time enjoying each other through recreation. Whether it’s a day at Disneyland, a family hike and picnic, a family camp out, a day at the beach, etc., making time to enjoy life together brings a family closer together.

3. Rest time. It’s not just mom and dad who are running on empty, today’s families are exhausted! Some of that comes from bad habits and bad decisions, from staying up all night watching a Netflix marathon to filling calendars too full. That exhaustion will result in each family member NOT giving their best in what they do, and in who they are with each other and others. Families need to make getting adequate rest a prioritized lifestyle so they can best navigate life together.

4. Worship time. Even though God is supposed to be central to every Christian family, most families only worship God together when they “go to church,” and even then families are often split up to worship in different age group settings. That isn’t making God the center of family life. It is often “transformational” to a family when they make a commitment to worship God together in their homes and not just on Sunday mornings.

How is your family making time for each other? How are you together as a family? What changes do you need to make to give family time the kind of priority it needs?

Scotty