Our conversations reveal what virtues are important to us …

Upon meeting someone for the first time, after exchanging names usually the first question asked is something like, “So, what do you do?”

In learning about others, or describing ourselves, we tend to focus on careers, skills, talents, experience, the things we “do” or are capable of. If you listen closely, you’ll hear that our conversations reveal what virtues are important to us.

In his book, “The Road to Character,” David Brooks helps us understand there are two sets of virtues we’re most interested in, and he refers to them as “Eulogy Virtues v. Resume Virtues.”

“Euology virtues” are the kinds of things we would like to be said of us in our eulogy, e.g., “She was a caring person,” “He was a compassionate man,” “She was kind and made time for anyone,” “Everyone liked him,” or “She made everyone smile with her friendly and engaging personality.”

“Resume virtues” are the kinds of things that describe us as in a resume, e.g., “He had a brilliant mind,” “She’s an excellent communicator,” “He’s an experienced leader,” or “Her education plus her significant experience made her the perfect candidate for the job.”

In our consideration of others, and even in our description of ourselves, we’ve become people who are more focused on “resume virtues” than we are “eulogy virtues.” We look first for capability and competence than we do character.

When God sent Samuel to anoint the man who would eventually replace Saul as king of Israel, the prophet was thinking more in terms of a man meeting a resume for the position of king rather than a man of godly virtue …

“Now the Lord said to Samuel, ‘You have mourned long enough for Saul. I have rejected him as king of Israel, so fill your flask with olive oil and go to Bethlehem. Find a man named Jesse who lives there, for I have selected one of his sons to be my king,'” 1 Samuel 16:1.

“When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, ‘Surely this is the Lord’s anointed!’ But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart,'” 1 Samuel 16:6-7.

Resume skills can always be learned and developed, but its the fostering of “eulogy virtues” that is the focus of instruction Christians find in scripture. For example:

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing,” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3.

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful,” Colossians 3:12-15.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise,” Philippians 4:8.

“So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, ‘You must be holy because I am holy,'” 1 Peter 1:14-16.

“In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone,” 2 Peter 1:5-7.

It might be impressive to some to have a resume riddled with talent, education, skills, and experience, but the same person could also be bankrupt in the things that make for godly character. More important than what you’re competent at doing is who you are!

Whether regarding yourself or others, which do you find more important: eulogy virtues or resume virtues? Which are more important to you to foster in yourself: eulogy virtues or resume virtues?

Scotty