The lies we tell ourselves to choose a mediocre life …

In yesterday’s post I wrote about our proclivity for lying and how there are many ways we can tell a lie.

It’s bad enough that we’re willing to lie to someone else, but the sad reality is the person we lie to the most is ourselves! We lie to, or “deceive” ourselves, in an effort to excuse the choices we make. Jerry Lambert gives us a good example of this with the following story:

A school teacher lost her life savings in a business scheme that had been elaborately explained by a swindler. When her investment disappeared and her dream was shattered, she went to the Better Business Bureau.

“Why on earth didn’t you come to us first?” the official asked. “Didn’t you know about the Better Business Bureau?”

“Oh, yes,” said the lady sadly. “I’ve always known about you. But I didn’t come because I was afraid you’d tell me not to do it.”

This penchant for self-deception is ancient, going back to the first two human beings, Adam and Eve. God had created a beautiful garden for them to live in and told them they could fully enjoy what He had created there … except for a single tree (Gn. 2:15-17). Along slithers Satan with a scheme:

“The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, ‘Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?’ ‘Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,’ the woman replied. ‘It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, “You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.”‘ ‘You won’t die!’ the serpent replied to the woman. ‘God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil,” Genesis 3:1-5.

Now take note of the mental hijinks Eve performs in order to excuse acting on her desire:

“The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too,” Genesis 3:6-7.

Since that beginning, we’ve all been just as deceptive with ourselves as Eve was. That tragic fact was creatively illustrated in the famous story of “the emperor’s clothes,” which pastor Isaac Butterworth comments about:

Do you remember the story of the emperor’s clothes? If I am recalling it right, someone persuaded the emperor to buy a suit of clothes that only people with the most exquisite taste in fashion could see. Of course, the emperor could not see the clothes, nor could anyone else – because the peddler was lying. There were no clothes to be seen. But no one would say so, not even the emperor! Why not? Because no one wanted to admit that they couldn’t see the clothes the emperor had spent a fortune buying.

Of course, the emperor wanted to show off his new clothes. So a parade was arranged. And there, on the street, with thousands of onlookers, the emperor rode along, completely exposed. But, knowing that they themselves would be exposed as having less than refined taste, the people wouldn’t speak up and tell the truth. The emperor was out in public in the raw! And no one would say it … except a little boy in the crowd. And, of course, he blasted out the facts: The emperor has no clothes!

It’s a child’s tale, to be sure, but it exposes – if I may use that word – some very grown-up truths. Vanity leads to self-deception, and fear of those with power over us causes us to collude in their despotism by flattering them. In other words, we all have a tendency to live a lie.

That tendency to lie to ourselves is most used in attempts to excuse our choices for living a mediocre life. Let’s look at some of the lies we tell ourselves to try to cover over our mediocrity:

EXAMPLES OF THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES

My 10-minute devotional a few times a week is enough to feed my spiritual formation and nurture my understanding of, and relationship with, God. No it isn’t. Minutes with God a few times a week will, at best, keep you biblically illiterate and immature in your Christian faith. To grow in Christ takes both quantity and quality time with Him, and it takes serious study of scripture rather than shallow devotionals often with a single sentence of scripture.

An occasional walk around the block after an especially indulgent time at the dinner table is adequate exercise. No it isn’t, not even close. You would have to live in a cave to not know in 2020 that we need regular movement, activity, and exercise for good health and fitness. Occasionally giving in to a twinge of guilt by taking a leisurely stroll around the block isn’t caring for your body the way it needs to be cared for.

If I add a salad to the junk I eat, it will make up for bad nutrition. No it won’t. Only consistently eating nutritious meals, with a good practice of portion control, will provide your body with the nutrition it needs.

I will miss out if … We tell ourselves we will “miss out” on life’s delights if we only eat what is good for us, or spend time exercising, or spend time in serious Bible study, or if we do so many other things that are good and best for us rather than the many things we want to do that often can cause some type of harm for us. YOLO! You only live once, so I should go ahead and indulge.

Self-handicapping. This is when we tell ourselves all the reasons why we can’t do something – “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not talented enough,” “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not strong enough,” etc.

It’s too hard. Many of the best things in life are, at times, challenging — or even downright hard! — but that doesn’t mean they can’t be done. It just means it’s hard. So what?!

This isn’t so bad. When we know what we’re doing isn’t good, we often try to rationalize it isn’t really as bad as it is, even though we know better.

I have no choice. More often than not, this isn’t true, we just don’t like (or don’t prefer) the choices we have and so we disqualify them so that in our minds “we don’t have a choice.”

I don’t have the self-control it takes. God has enabled us with the ability to exercise self-control (see 2 Timothy 1:7). If you think you need more self-control than you have, realize you have other resources available to you: the power of the Holy Spirit living in you, support from a spouse, friend, family, church family, and other ways you can structure support and accountability to reinforce what self-control you have.

Denying reality. When we refuse to face reality, we have to attempt to create the reality we want, which will only reinforce our poor choices.

Choosing ignorance. Purposely trying to stay uninformed or uneducated so we can claim, “I didn’t know.”

I can’t overcome my past mistakes. When we tell ourselves it’s not possible to rise above our past, we don’t. It isn’t that we can’t, it’s that we won’t.

I’m just a sinner. We all are! We’ve all sinned and come short of God’s glorious standard (Rom. 3:23). And yet, the Bible is full of stories of people who become victors over their sin through Jesus Christ.

God wired me this way. All of us are “hard wired” by God with a temperament, but that temperament has strengths in addition to weaknesses. We can learn to maximize our strengths and minimize our weaknesses.

I have a great idea but don’t have the resources. Then find them, work for them, fundraise for them, develop partnerships for greater resources. Start where you’re at with what you’ve got and, trusting God, work from there. Many great things come from very meager beginnings.

I’m just not lucky. Living a full and satisfying life isn’t about “luck” but about taking hold of the opportunities God provides us, and the capacity God provides for creating opportunities.

I can’t do that, people would laugh. Limiting your life based on what you think others would think, or what they would say, or how they would respond, is to enslave yourself to such things. At some point, each of us need to have the courage to be the person God created us to be, regardless of what others think about that.

And this list of examples of how we lie to ourselves could go on and on …

CONLUSION
In life, we’ll never have an enemy greater than ourselves. And the way we can be our worst enemy is to lie to ourselves. It is only by embracing the truth that we can strive toward the full and satisfying life Jesus has for us.

Let me encourage you to not leave this post before taking some time to consider just how honest you are to yourself. Are you currently telling yourself, and believing, some lies? What are they? What’s the truth? How different could your life be if you refused to continue lying to yourself and fully embraced the truth?

Scotty