How can I cope?

You thought 2020 was bad, but we’re actually seeing more mental health issues, more mental illness, more relational conflicts, and more anxiety, depression, and deep, dark despair in 2021 than we did last year.

Over the past few years, has the thought, “It seems like things are getting worse” crossed your mind?

For some people, they are. So is the pain and difficulty of just coping.

In fact, more and more people are wondering, and even asking aloud, “How can I cope?”

Jesus revealed this truth about living as a human being: “… Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows …” John 16:33a.

Life will have its troubles and sorrows, but God has not made us hopeless creatures; He has supplied us with the means to, at the least, cope when we must, but we can even learn to thrive within any set of circumstances.

For the many who have wondered, “How can I cope?” here are some answers for you:

1. With the right foundation. Jesus told us we WOULD face trials and sorrows because He wanted us to know we could still discover peace, and that we could prevail. Let’s look at His complete statement:

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world,” John 16:33.

Jesus says we can have peace through Him, even though things can get tough living as a human being. But regardless of what comes our way, we can overcome just as He overcame the world. That is, as long as Christ himself is our foundation. Jesus made that clear here …

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash,” Matthew 7:24-27.

This is a vital lesson we must embrace; it was a lesson the Apostle Paul had to learn. After becoming a follower of Jesus, life became much more difficult for Paul, and it caused him deep despair. He learned to overcome his troubles by relying on Jesus as the foundation for his life, putting his trust in Jesus to be able to cope:

“We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us,” 2 Corinthians 1:8-10.

If Jesus Christ is the foundation upon which your life is built and lived daily, then you can cope with any troubling storms life will throw at you.

2. With the right thinking. Your thinking will cause you more trouble in your life than any person or thing. One reason is because we have corrupted our minds with sin, and so the starting place of making Jesus the foundation of your life is to allow God to change how you think:

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect,” Romans 12:2.

“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God — truly righteous and holy,” Ephesians 4:21-24.

One of the greatest challenges we humans face is that much of our thinking is irrational instead of rational. It only takes common sense to conclude that persistently thinking irrationally is going to result in creating problems for us. The good news is that we can learn to break that habit and build a new habit of thinking more rationally than irrationally. A competent therapist skilled in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is specifically trained to help clients change their thinking from irrational, faulty, and distorted patterns and habits to healthier habits of rational thinking. This is especially important and effective because of this fact about human behavior:

Our thoughts create our emotions, and the combination of our thoughts and emotions create our behavior.

We can better cope with the troubles we experience in life when we think clearly and rationally.

3. With the right care. If you are a poor steward of the life God has given you, and you routinely neglect caring for it properly, you will struggle more with coping with life’s troubles. But when you are a good steward of the life God has given you, and you consistently provide the proper care for your life, you will be more capable of coping through times of trouble.

An example of this is the despair the prophet Elijah experienced. Suddenly, Elijah found himself facing serious peril:

“When Ahab got home, he told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, including the way he had killed all the prophets of Baal. So Jezebel sent this message to Elijah: ‘May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you just as you killed them,'” 1 Kings 19:1-2.

When Elijah heard this, he did not respond well to the trouble now facing him:

“Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord,’ he said. ‘Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.’ Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree,” 1 Kings 19:3-5a.

God answered Elijah’s prayer by sending an angel to provide some practical care for Elijah:

“But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, ‘Get up and eat!’ He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again. Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, ‘Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.’ So he got up and ate and drank, and the food gave him enough strength to travel forty days and forty nights to Mount Sinai, the mountain of God. There he came to a cave, where he spent the night,” 1 Kings 19:5a-9.

Notice the angel didn’t come and do some kind of spectacular, miraculous act; instead he provided Elijah with some practical care that helped him cope with his current challenge. What helped revive Elijah so he could engage in responding more rationally to his troubles? A nap, some food, and some water.

That’s also known as taking care of the body God had given him through which to experience that life.

Like everyone else, Elijah needed to care for his body through exercise, good nutrition, adequate sleep, and proper rest. Those things made a difference in Elijah’s ability to cope well, and they make the same kind of difference for us.

4. With the right support. Knowing that “… here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows …” it was never God’s design for us to have to face the troubles of life alone, and by our own woefully inadequate strength. Instead, He has provided us with two amazing sources of support for living life.

The first is the gift of the Holy Spirit coming to live inside every Christian. Imagine that — the truth and power of God resides in you as a follower of Jesus! That will help you cope with anything!

“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness …” Romans 8:26a.

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit,” Romans 15:13.

As incredible as it is to have the Holy Spirit living inside us, it’s not uncommon for all of us to be like the little boy who, late at night, cried out for his father because he was scared. The dad answered, ” It’s okay son, remember God is with you!” To which the boy responded, “I know … but I need someone with skin on!”

Sometimes we feel a need for someone “with skin on” … and God has provided that! In fact, He has provided an entire new family to experience life with, commonly referred to as the church. As brothers and sisters in the family of God, we support each other through all of life’s troubles:

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other,” Romans 12:4-5.

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing,” 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

“Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ,” Galatians 6:1-2.

Sometimes life is so incredibly hard all we can do is cope, but we’re capable of coping unto overcoming! And sometimes, no matter what the world throws at you, you’re capable of going beyond coping to thriving.

With the right foundation, the right thinking, the right care, and right support, you’re well equipped for life.

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence,” 2 Peter 1:3.

Scotty