Biblical insights for good relationships …

Most of us want a life enriched by good relationships.

I write “most” because there are those dysfunctional individuals who seem to thrive on conflict.

Most of us don’t.

A good relationship — whether it’s a friendship, an enjoyable acquaintance, marriage, Christian fellowship, etc. — are some of life’s greatest blessings.

But relationships aren’t always easy. In fact, whenever you have two or more imperfect human beings, you WILL have imperfect interactions that can lead to conflict or ugly troubles. So where do you turn to for wisdom when it comes to relationships?

Let me suggest the Bible should be the first place to start! No one understands human beings better than God, and no one knows what makes for good relationships and righteous living like God does, so, turning to the Bible to hear what God has to say about relationships is the best thing we can do for gleaning insights about relationships.

As an example, here are just eight insights from the Bible regarding having any kind of relationship with another human being:

Love them. No matter who the person is, scripture directs us to make love the foundational component of all our interactions with ALL human beings:

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other,” John 13:34.

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins,” 1 Peter 4:8.

“And do everything with love,” 1 Corinthians 16:14.

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other,” Romans 12:9-10.

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love,” Ephesians 4:2.

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect,” Matthew 5:43-48.

Serve them. Jesus modeled for us the perfect example of serving everyone, especially if you consider yourself to be a “leader.” If you’re a follower of Jesus, you’re a servant to all:

“God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another,” 1 Peter 4:10.

“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love,” Galatians 5:13.

“But Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many,” Matthew 20:25-28.

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too,” Philippians 2:3-4.

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important,” Galatians 6:2-3.

Forgive them. Every human you interact with is imperfect. And YOU are imperfect! That means you WILL experience times when you not only need to ask for forgiveness, but you’ll need to forgive others. You’ll never experience a relationship where this isn’t necessary:

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you,” Ephesians 4:31-32.

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too,” Mark 11:25.

“So watch yourselves! If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive,” Luke 17:3-4.

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins,” Matthew 6:14-15.

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others,” Colossians 3:13.

Nurture them. Some like to think friendships or certain relationships are “for a season,” that relationships come and go. The truth is, a primary reason acquaintances fail to become friendships, or any of our relationships fail is because we fail to nurture them! Note in the following scripture verses the underlying idea of nurturing a relationship:

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins,” 1 Peter 4:8.

“Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace,” Ephesians 4:1-3.

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires,” James 1:19-20.

“Finishing is better than starting. Patience is better than pride. Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool,” Ecclesiastes 7:8-9.

Pray for them. One of the most loving things you can do for another human being is to seek their best interest by praying for them — talking to God about them:

“One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up,” Luke 18:1.

“I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth,” 1 Timothy 2:1-4.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results,” James 5:16.

“Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere,” Ephesians 6:18.

“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” Matthew 5:44.

Encourage them. No one escapes life without facing some troubles and trials. At times, circumstances can be very discouraging. Scripture strongly exhorts us to make encouragement a significant part of our relationships with others:

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing,” 1 Thessalonians 5:11.

“Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone,” 1 Thessalonians 5:14.

“We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord,” Romans 15:1-2.

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them,” Ephesians 4:29.

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near,” Hebrews 10:24-25.

Sacrifice for them. Our calling as followers of Jesus is to follow in His footsteps, which WILL mean making sacrifices for the best interest of others:

“For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps,” 1 Peter 2:21.

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters,” 1 John 3:16.

“Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name. And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God,” Hebrews 13:15-16.

“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends,” John 15:13.

“Jesus replied with a story: ‘A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, “Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.” Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits? Jesus asked. The man replied, ‘The one who showed him mercy.’ Then Jesus said, ‘Yes, now go and do the same,'” Luke 10:30-37.

Enjoy them. Spend a few minutes online and you get the idea that many people — including many who identify themselves as Christians — don’t enjoy other people very much. We can become so busy trying to get something from others, or serving others, or nurturing relationships, that we forget to enjoy them! The more you learn to enjoy the different relationships available to you, the richer and more joyful your life will can become:

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life,” John 10:10.

“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord,” Proverbs 18:22.

“Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil,” Ecclesiastes 9:9.

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him,” Psalm 127:3.

“A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need,” Proverbs 17:17.

The Bible has SO MUCH MORE to say about how to have good relationships. By being a student of the Bible, you become a student of how to relate to God, yourself, and others. These insights are the knowledge and wisdom we need to guide us through a life full of interacting with others.

Scotty