Getting past the “ought not to be’s” …

If you’ve never once said, “That just ought not to be,” you’ve probably heard someone say it.

And it’s more likely you’ve thought something like it.

Kay Kesler tells a story in Raising Responsible Kids about a fellow who “wished hard” that something that was reality really wasn’t:

Shortly after I got my driver’s license I was driving too close to the middle of a narrow road and I sideswiped another car. The crash tore the front fender, two doors, and the rear fender from my dad’s car. After I found out everyone was okay, I stood in the ditch and prayed, “Dear God, I pray this didn’t happen.” I opened my eyes and saw that the car was still wrecked, so I closed my eyes, squinted real hard, and prayed again, “Dear God, it didn’t happen.” Then I opened my eyes, but it happened anyway.

Chances are you’ve experienced that thought and emotions in your life — something had become reality that you really hoped, and possibly even prayed, wouldn’t be real.

But it was.

And lingering in your mind was something like, “That ought not to be.”

There are untold numbers of people who get stuck with that thought. They allow themselves to be so overwhelmed with their position of “that just ought not to be” that they can’t move forward in life. They become obsessed with what “is” being not what they want or need that they lose rational capacity to move forward and wallow in the stress of their insistence. It was former Surgeon General, C. Everett Koop, who once noted, “Reality causes stress,” and that can become unmanageable if we obsess over what ought not to be.

There are some things that “are” but “ought not to be” that we should be steadfast about — things like sin, abortion, hatred, racism, etc. Those things “ought not to be,” and we should be persistent with that attitude and action against such things.

But much of what we get hung up on are things that don’t have to stifle our forward progress in life or rob us of the joy we have in Christ.

So, when you’re facing something you think “that ought not to be,” change it, help create what ought to be. If it can’t be changed, accept it as the reality that is, with a couple caveats: One, that God is our objective reality, and two, that He is also sovereign over reality. If something ought not to be and you can’t change it, or harness resources to bring about change, hold to the objective truth you have in God and His Word, and trust His sovereignty over all that exists.

One other thing: a deeper, fuller biblical knowledge, along with some well-developed theological understanding, are prime tools to help you avoid getting bogged down in the “ought not to be’s.” These help you have a greater reliance on God being your objective truth, and keeping forward in your thoughts that He is sovereign. It also helps nurture the hope we have that some day all that is will be transformed by our sovereign God.

One thing is certain, it accomplishes nothing good in your life to get bogged down from living the fullness of life God intends for you by an obsession with the “ought not to be’s.”

Scotty