How to position every human engagement with the potential for a positive interaction …

Personal opinion has been elevated to such a vaulted idol status in our time that it’s common to enter into engagements with other people expecting to disagree with them.

Does it matter how you interact with people you disagree with (or even people you agree with more consistently)?

Yes.

Toward that end, the Apostle Paul wrote this: “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone,” Romans 12:18.

We read that exhortation and can immediately acknowledge that it sounds like wise instruction … and then give so little thought of what it means when we actually engage other people. I mean, let’s be “realistic,” we think, how can a person actually live in peace with everyone?

Well, the instruction is to “do all that you can” — some people won’t accept your efforts. But we can put forth the effort, and when we do, we’ll foster more peace. That was the example demonstrated by George Whitefield regarding his differences with John Wesley. Warren Wiersbe included a snippet about Whitefield’s efforts to “live in peace” with Wesley in “Wycliffe Handbook of Preaching and Preachers”:

“Although George Whitefield disagreed with John Wesley on some theological matters, he was careful not to create problems in public that could be used to hinder the preaching of the gospel. When someone asked Whitefield if he thought he would see Wesley in heaven, Whitefield replied, ‘I fear not, for he will be so near the eternal throne and we at such a distance, we shall hardly get sight of him.'”

Let me share with you a “golden nugget” for how you can position every human engagement with the potential for a positive (or peaceful) interaction.

First, let me state this “golden nugget” didn’t originate from me, it’s a single statement proffered by Chad Ragsdale, Executive Vice President of Academics and professor of New Testament and Hermeneutics at Ozark Christian College. Ragsdale shared this tidbit of wisdom during a video I stumbled across. He said:

“Go into a conversation ready to agree until you come to a place you have to disagree.”

So many people step into engagements with other people initially wary of the other person, looking for a place of disagreement from the start, even expecting eventual points of conflict.

Guess what … you often find what you’re looking for!

What if you started every engagement with anyone ready to agree with them UNTIL you come to a place you HAVE TO disagree? Do you think doing that would better enable you to “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone”?

Of course there are times — sometimes many times — when we must disagree with someone. But we usually don’t have to start there. What if we started from a position of being ready to agree with others until we had to disagree — could that nurture a greater experience of peace with others?

Let me encourage you to take a few minutes for serious and honest self-assessment about how you step into engagements with others. Are you ready to agree with others until you must disagree, or are you looking for points of departure and reasons (or excuses) to disagree with them?

By the way, this isn’t just a nugget of wisdom for people you don’t know or don’t know well, it’s also a HUGE piece of wisdom for interacting with people we’re closest to, and the people you work with every day. It’s the people we know best and love most that we feel comfortable tuning out and immediately looking for where they’re wrong. What if you entered every conversation with your spouse, or children, or neighbors, or co-workers ready to agree with them … until you come to place you have to disagree. How would that impact those relationships?

Scotty