The problem with long-term counseling …

There’s more than one answer to the problem of long-term counseling, but there’s an overarching one: It’s usually unnecessary.

Please note the keyword “usually.” There are times when meeting counseling objectives takes a long time, but that’s not common, at least not in effective, competent counseling.

So just how long should counseling last?

As long as it takes to accomplish your counseling objectives!

Okay, don’t think that’s “talking in circles,” let’s break this down a little.

In effective counseling, it’s vital to initially diagnose what the root issues are, then treat them effectively. One thing that is sure is that you cannot overcome today’s problems in life with the same thinking that created them, so highly effective counseling should include helping a client expand their knowledge (especially about themselves), and equip them with new skills needed to directly address their life issues.

But what happens in many cases is the same kind of error that happens in many churches: we settle for an intellectual assent to what the counselor teaches them, but no real, direct application and skill practice in real life. In other words, there’s a lot of talk in counseling sessions, but no real application and practice outside of the sessions. Without that practice and application outside of the sessions, there’s no real progress and there is a lot of wasting of time, both for the client and the counselor.

One problem that can come out of this is a client can become overly attached to the counseling session, finding it a safe place to think and talk about life issues, and irrationally not wanting to give that up.

That can feed an ethical issue that does happen within the industry of mental health, which is counselors purposely keeping clients coming to sessions to extend the the profit they’re making. Years ago, while looking for a new barber, I sat down in the chair and told the stylist I wanted a very short haircut. The barber actually responded, “I’ll cut it short but not too short, otherwise it will be a longer time before you come back!”

I couldn’t believe he actually allowed those words to be spoken! He revealed to me his first priority was making profit from me, rather than providing me the haircut I (the paying customer) wanted.

Sadly, the same does happen within the industry of mental health. Some (certainly not all) counselors don’t mind keeping clients coming beyond what they need in order to maintain an ongoing revenue stream.

In the decades that I’ve counseled many thousands of clients, most sessions lasted a matter of weeks, some for a few months, and that was common. Several months was necessary for the more complex issues paired with more complex lives, and rarely did any case push toward a year (but that, and even longer, can be necessary for some).

When it comes to how long should counseling last, there’s not a set answer that fits every life; in fact, it varies with every life. A person in counseling shouldn’t be in a hurry to get out of counseling, but they also shouldn’t be surprised when their counselor tells them it’s time for them to go practice what they’ve learned and been equipped with.

When is it time to either reduce the number of counseling sessions, or conclude counseling? Once current issues are no longer out-of-control, you’re making progress, you don’t have any new struggles that need addressing, and you’re no longer identifying any other issue(s) that need to be introduced into counseling. This is the time to go practice what you’ve learned and been equipped with, knowing that if the need arises, you can always re-connect with your counselor.

Just like you wouldn’t sit around with a physician, a dentist, a physical therapist, or a personal trainer at a gym and just talk about your physical issues for any longer than necessary, you should be identifying root causes and be actively engaged in treatment for them that progress you away from them into better, more healthy counseling objectives. That takes practice and application in “real life” outside of the counseling sessions.

If you’re in a long-term process of counseling and you’re not making gains, you’ll need to assess whether you’re fully engaged and cooperative with the counseling process, or if you have a counselor who is competent in providing the services you need.

Scotty