Why are some people so volatile?

Have you ever had a relationship with a volatile person?

You know, the kind of person where you think you have to “walk on eggshells” around for fear you’ll say or do something they suddenly respond to with nearly (if not literally) uncontrolled anger, rage, or irrational and uncontrolled emotions and behaviors?

Or perhaps, deep down, you think you may be a volatile person?

First, let’s get a simple working definition: To be a volatile person is someone who tends to negatively change quickly and unpredictably; a person with a tendency to erupt in anger or violence; or a person who is easily aroused negatively (e.g., their suspicions, and negative reactions to them, are easily sparked).

What are some signs a person might be a “volatile person”?

• • They lash out at others in frustration and/or anger.
  • This person may actually suppress their emotions until they “explode” in anger (doing this routinely).
  • A volatile person is often someone who struggles with calming themselves when they are upset.
  • The volatile person routinely takes out their frustration and anger on others, verbally and/or physically.
  • A volatile person often feels like their emotions are overwhelming and they are unable to control them.
  • A volatile person usually has difficulty maintaining relationships because of their volatility.

When you’re on the receiving end of a volatile person’s anger or rage, you may be thinking you didn’t say or do anything worthy of such a volatile response; often we’re left asking, “Why does this person act in such a powerfully negative way?”

There actually are several potential root causes for volatile behavior, and a person may experience multiple root reasons for their volatility. Some root causes to human volatility include:

– They have an unreconciled relationship with God. Without the peace and hope of Christ in your life, the purpose that comes from a reconciled relationship with God, and the transforming work of the Holy Spirit internally, a person may respond with volatility toward the emptiness caused by not knowing God.

– A response to trauma and/or abuse.

– Unhealed emotional wounds and deficits.

– Environmental factors. Volatility could be a learned behavior in an attempt to deal with their environment. This could also include never being equipped with or taught skills for dealing with their environment, and their own thoughts and emotions in childhood and adolescence.

– An attempt to use volatility as a (negative) coping mechanism.

– Deeply ingrained habits and patterns of irrational thinking/cognitive distortions.

– Uncontrolled temperament weaknesses.

– Mental health issues, or even mental illness.

– Brain health issues.

– Other physiological factors (e.g., long-term sleep deprivation, nutritional deprivation, struggling with chronic pain, etc.).

– An overwhelming sense of hopelessness and lack of purpose/meaning.

A volatile person often has multiple spiritual/biological/psychological/social issues combining as the root impetus toward volatile behavior. The good news is there is effective treatment for the volatile person. Because that treatment will vary according to the specifics of each person, I won’t try to lay out all of the potential modes of treatment here, but encourage anyone struggling with volatility to seek help from a competent and skilled Christian counselor.

Scotty