Five things you can do to become more comfortable in your own skin …

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Noted psychiatrist, Dr. Daniel Amen, is fond of repeating what he calls the 18/40/60 rule. It goes like this:

– When you’re 18, you worry (often a great deal) about what everyone is thinking of you.

– When you’re 40, you finally don’t care what anybody thinks about you.

– And finally, when you’re 60, you realize nobody’s been thinking about you at all!

It’s a humorous tidbit, but I think most of us can see a sliver of truth in it. In our youth — and sometimes all the way to our golden years — we can be consumed with what other people think about us, and we think everyone is thinking something about us. As we mature, or IF we mature, we learn what other people think really doesn’t matter much; although, sometimes it does, but often not much, something even the Apostle Paul quipped about in 1 Corinthians 4:1-4:

“So look at Apollos and me as mere servants of Christ who have been put in charge of explaining God’s mysteries. Now, a person who is put in charge as a manager must be faithful. As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point. My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide.”

I think we can safely conclude that Paul was one of those fellows who we describe as being “comfortable in his own skin.” We’re instructed in the Bible not to envy others, but among characteristics that are at least appreciable in some others, it’s that capacity to be comfortable in their own skin.

The idea of being “comfortable in your own skin” simply means living in such a way that a person feels at ease with one’s own identity and being (appropriately) content with oneself (kind of like Paul). Achieving this approach to life is easier for some, more messy for others, but let me share with you just five things we can do from a Christian perspective to live life as people who are comfortable in their own skin:

1. Embrace your God-given identity. Recognize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalm 139:14). Understand that your identity is rooted in being created in the image of God, and having been born again by being united with Jesus Christ through baptism in His death and resurrection (Romans 6:3-4). Embrace the uniqueness with which God crafted you, and discover a full sense of purpose in knowing you were created FOR Jesus:

“Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, for through him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see — such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through him and for him,” Colossians 1:15-16.

2. Like Paul, seek God’s approval above all else. Find comfort in knowing that your worth is not determined by societal standards or the opinions of others. Seek approval primarily from God, as His acceptance is unwavering and based on love and grace rather than performance:

“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant,” Galatians 1:10.

3. Cultivate a Christ-centered self-image. Ground your self-image in the teachings of Christ. Reflect on passages that emphasize qualities such as humility, kindness, and love (e.g., Colossians 3:12-14). Strive to align your self-perception with the character of Christ.

4. Develop an attitude of gratitude for the body and life that God has given you. Acknowledge the blessings and capabilities you possess, and use them to honor God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Gratitude can lead to a more positive and appropriate view of yourself.

5. Focus on inner transformation. Recognize that true transformation comes from within, through a relationship with Christ. Work on cultivating the fruits of the Spirit, such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). As your character increasingly aligns with Christ’s teachings, you may find yourself becoming a person who’s increasingly comfortable in their own skin.

Scotty