Say thank you now while you can, and while it can still make a difference …

It was all the way back in 1957 that Together Magazine included in its pages this short snippet:

The brilliant Scottish writer, Thomas Carlyle, lived on a farm in Dumfriesshire, which he called “the loneliest nook in Britain.” Each day he climbed a ladder to his attic, where he worked until dark. His devoted wife Jane was left alone. One evening at dinner, Jane asked why he had never expressed appreciation for the food she lovingly prepared for him.

“Woman,” Carlyle barked, “must you be paid for everything you do?”

With that, he stamped off to his attic workshop.

Years later, when his wife died, Carlyle found her diary. On tear-stained pages he read this recurring refrain, “Oh, I wish you would say a kind word or give me a compliment now and then about the things I try to do to make you happy.”

Expressing thankfulness to someone matters in relationships. Let me share just 10 ways expressing genuine thankfulness can impact a relationship:

Fosters Connection. Thankfulness fosters a sense of connection and appreciation between partners. It helps create an emotional bond and reinforces the idea that you value and notice the efforts your partner puts into the relationship.

Strengthens Emotional Intimacy. Gratitude is an expression of vulnerability and intimacy. When you share your feelings of thankfulness, you’re allowing yourself to be emotionally open, which strengthens the emotional intimacy in the relationship.

Boosts Emotional Well-being. Gratitude has been linked to increased feelings of happiness and well-being. When you express thankfulness, it not only benefits your partner but also contributes to your own emotional health.

Positive Reinforcement. When you express gratitude, you are reinforcing positive behavior. This can motivate your partner to continue doing things that contribute to the well-being of the relationship.

Prevents Taking Each Other for Granted. Over time, couples may start taking each other for granted. Expressing thankfulness helps counteract this by actively acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of the relationship.

Encourages Reciprocity. When you express thankfulness, you set an example for your partner to do the same. This encourages a cycle of reciprocal gratitude, where both partners feel appreciated and valued.

Creates a Positive Atmosphere. A relationship characterized by gratitude tends to be more positive and fulfilling. It creates a supportive and nurturing atmosphere where both partners feel valued and acknowledged.

Strengthens Trust. Feeling appreciated builds trust in a relationship. When partners acknowledge and express gratitude for each other’s contributions, it helps create a sense of security and trust in the relationship.

Enhances Communication. Expressing thankfulness involves communication. It opens up channels for positive communication, making it easier to discuss feelings, needs, and concerns in a supportive and constructive manner.

Balances Criticism. Every relationship faces challenges, and it’s natural to encounter issues from time to time. Expressing thankfulness helps balance the inevitable moments of criticism or disagreement, providing a more holistic view of the relationship.

If you are thankful to someone for something, tell them now while you still can, and while it can still make a difference.

Scotty