A golden rule for each partner in a marriage …

It doesn’t take much study of the Bible to quickly land on a conclusion that’s not directly stated in scripture, but strongly inferred: Your spouse is the person you’re to love second only to God.

Not equal with God, not even in competition with God, but certainly above all other human relationships.

Your spouse is the only person with which you’re united together as one as you both leave your families to begin your own household:

“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one,” Genesis 2:24.

With your commitment to your spouse being so great, here’s something often missed in marriages that can cause a great deal of conflict if not sincerely adopted and practiced — it’s something that should serve as a “golden rule” for each partner in a marriage:

“If it’s important to my spouse, it should be important to me.”

Making important to you what is important to your spouse doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with their view of what’s important, but if it’s important to them then it’s important you take note of that and respond in a way that at least acknowledges you understand something is highly valued by them.

There’s a few practical reasons why what is important to your spouse should be important to you:

Mutual respect. Prioritizing what matters to your spouse does more than show respect for their values, feelings, and priorities within the marriage, but reflects a fundamental valuing of them. In Ephesians 5, before the Apostle Paul reveals a primary behavior for wives, and a primary behavior for husbands, he first writes, “And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” (Eph. 5:21). Writing to husbands, the Apostle Peter clearly states a man’s spouse is his equal partner who should be shown honor, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered,” 1 Peter 3:7. The same would be true for wives – their husbands are equal partners in life and should be shown honor. To honor one another in this way would include the concept that if something is important to your spouse, it should be important to you.

Emotional connection. Acknowledging and valuing your spouse’s concerns fosters a deeper emotional connection, as it shows a willingness to understand and support each other.

Collaboration. A mutually satisfying marriage is built on collaboration and teamwork. When both partners prioritize each other’s needs, and the need of the the marital relationship, they contribute to the overall well-being of their marriage.

Nurturing trust. Demonstrating genuine interest and concern for your spouse’s important matters builds trust, as it conveys a commitment to the relationship and its growth.

Try communicating to your spouse — and demonstrating with your actions! — that if something is important to them it’s important to you and see if it doesn’t have a positive, bonding impact on your marriage.

Scotty