What are families struggling with in 2024? Take a look at top issues being reported …

I’ve been counseling people, both as a minister and a counselor, for close to 40 years and throughout that time, there have always been struggles in marriages and families that need attention and often need the help of a professional.

That need — and the actual demand for — marriage and family counseling has skyrocketed since the global pandemic. While there were pre-existing issues in marital and family relationships prior to the pandemic, the extended period of mandatory lockdowns that forced couples and families to spend more time together had a positive affect for some, but a seriously negative affect for others.

It’s true that some couples and families have reported their marital and family relationships improved during the lockdowns because it made them spend more time with each other. But other couples and families have reported a serious decline in their relationships — being forced to spend more time together, they came to the conclusion they didn’t like each other very much!

THERE’S MORE TO A FAMILY THAN STAGES …
When describing family systems or challenges in family life, we can trivialize those troubles to being just moving through certain “stages” of family life, something Michael McCartney describes like this:

• Now you know why I say, “The family takes a lot of work!” A healthy family will go through several stages that require perseverance and a good work ethic.

Stage One — The family begins at the, “I do”s and a couple is birthed. Now comes the dying to self.

Stage Two — The couple’s life is dramatically changed at the arrival of the first child. Now comes heaps of responsibility and stress.

Stage three — The children grow up out of the toddler years and start school. The family is apart more and life becomes more hectic with school age children. Families can drift apart if they are not careful here.

Stage four — Now the children reach adolescence and life changes quickly. Turmoil enters the family unit. Hormones invade the home. Expenses go up for couples in this stage. There are more activities and more separation of the family individuals. There are more choices to make and peer pressures. The family helps here in guidance and direction while allowing the child now teen to become an individual and to move to individuation. This is a hard time for the family and can tear it apart if it is not healthy.

Step Five — the empty nest is another difficult passage where the couple finds themselves a couple again with their children gone. Children no longer are the focus of their family unit. Now mom and dad look to each other for companionship.

Stage Six — Then comes grandchildren but it’s still very different.

You can see why we need the healthy keys of a strong family if we are going to thrive, adjust, flex and stay together through these life stages.

STRUGGLES OF THE MODERN FAMILY
There’s more to the struggles of family life than just navigating certain “stages” in life.

What are some of those struggles?

Here are some of the real life issues families are reporting, both according to research and also some of what we’re seeing at Scott Free Clinic:

Communication breakdown. Poor communication patterns and a lack of effective communication skills WILL lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and emotional distance within families. This can include ineffective listening, lack of assertiveness, or aggressive communication styles. Because a lack of effective communication skills is routinely at the heart of marriage and family issues, Scott Free Clinic has as one of its FREE core services the world’s number one communication program, Couple Communication I (learn more about this award-winning skill-building workshop by clicking here). We are currently trying to raise funds to conduct two of these workshops as soon as possible; if you are able and willing to help us make these workshops available, please consider making a donation today from our website by clicking here.

Conflict and unresolved issues. Families frequently struggle with unresolved conflicts, whether they stem from past traumas, differing values, temperament clashes, or unmet needs. These unresolved issues cause ongoing tension and disrupt family cohesion; like an unhealed wound will continue to fester and cause more significant health issues, conflicts must be resolved to bring relational healing within the family.

Parenting challenges. Parenting difficulties such as inconsistency, overprotection, or neglect can impact children’s emotional well-being and contribute to family discord. Providing nurture, discipline, support, and autonomy is crucial for healthy family dynamics.

Role ambiguity and boundary issues. This is an old and ongoing problem within many families! Unclear roles and boundaries within the family system can lead to confusion, power struggles, co-dependency, and enmeshment (learn more about enmeshment by clicking here). Healthy boundaries foster individual autonomy while maintaining connectedness within the family. A common problem in modern families is fostering a child-centered family, which can result in marital drift (you can read more about that by clicking here).

Stress and external pressures. Economic hardships, work-related stress, and societal pressures can strain family relationships. Addressing external stressors requires effective communication, problem-solving skills, and mutual support.

Substance abuse and addiction. Substance abuse or addiction within the family significantly impacts relationships, trust, and emotional stability. Addressing these issues often requires professional intervention and support.

Mental health challenges. Mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, or personality disorders, can profoundly affect family dynamics. Stigma, cost of getting professional help, lack of awareness, and lack of access to competent services hinders a majority of individuals from seeking necessary treatment.

Divorce and blended family issues. The prevalence of divorce and remarriage contributes to complex family dynamics, including co-parenting challenges, loyalty conflicts, and security and adjustment difficulties for children.

Cultural and generational differences. Differing cultural backgrounds, values, and generational perspectives can create tensions within families.

Serious spiritual issues. America is increasingly becoming a post-Christian society, and that impacts families in a variety of ways, including:

• • Fewer families attending church, and with those who do church do so less consistently (1-2 times per month).
  • Many parents who profess to be disciples of Jesus delegate to the church the responsibility of being the primary spiritual teacher in the lives of their children rather than themselves.
  • Even if those parents wanted to be responsible in evangelizing and discipling their own children, they lack the knowledge to raise their children as disciples of Jesus Christ; research reveals a low percentage of parents in the United States hold a biblical worldview. According to the American Worldview Inventory 2022, only two percent of parents of pre-teens possess a biblical worldview, despite 67 percent identifying as Christian. This indicates a significant disconnect between self-identification and adherence to specific religious tenets.
  • Research also reveals a majority of churchgoers actually practice syncretism, which is the incorporation of elements from other belief systems into Christianity, thereby undermining distinct biblical and theological claims of the Christian faith.

GET THE HELP YOU NEED
Many who struggle with various family issues feel overwhelmed by them. I want to encourage you that, between local churches in your area, competent Christian counselors, and ministries like Scott Free Clinic, there is help and support available to you to help you face, navigate, and overcome the struggles you’re dealing with. Above all, God sees your needs, cares beyond measure, and wants to guide you toward being the family He designed you to be.

Scotty