Understanding the trendy but ungodly act of gaslighting …

by 0 Comments

In today’s world, “gaslighting” has become a buzzword, often thrown around in conversations about toxic relationships. Yet, despite its frequent use, many still struggle to grasp its true meaning and the deep impact it has on individuals and relationships. As Christians, understanding what gaslighting is and why it’s an ungodly behavior is important in maintaining relationships that reflect Christ’s love and truth.

WHAT IS GASLIGHTING?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person seeks to make another doubt their own perceptions, memories, or reality. The term originates from the 1944 film Gaslight, in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane by gradually dimming their gas-powered lights and denying the change when she notices it. In real life, gaslighting involves consistent and deliberate efforts to undermine a person’s sense of self and truth.

For example, imagine a scenario where a husband regularly belittles his wife’s opinions, dismisses her emotions as “overreactions,” and denies events that have clearly occurred. Over time, she begins to doubt her own memory, feelings, and even sanity. This erosion of trust in oneself is the hallmark of gaslighting.

IMPACT ON RELATIONSHIPS
Gaslighting can occur in any relationship — marriage, friendships, work environments, or even within the church. Its effects are profound and often devastating. The person being gaslit may experience:

    • Loss of confidence. Constantly questioning their own thoughts and perceptions, leading to a diminished sense of self-worth.
    • Emotional turmoil. Anxiety, depression, and confusion are common as the individual struggles to reconcile reality with the manipulated narrative.
    • Isolation. The gaslighter often seeks to cut off their target from supportive relationships, making them more dependent and easier to control.

This behavior is not just psychologically damaging but also spiritually corrosive. Gaslighting undermines the foundational Christian principle of truth. As believers, we are called to live in the light, where honesty and transparency reign, and gaslighting is the antithesis of this.

AN UNGODLY BEHAVIOR
Gaslighting is a form of deception, and as such, it stands in direct opposition to the teachings of Christ. The Bible consistently condemns deceit and calls for honesty in our interactions. Proverbs 12:22 states, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.” When someone gaslights another, they are not only lying but also manipulating and distorting the truth for their own gain.

Moreover, gaslighting violates the command to love others as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31). Love seeks to build up, to edify, and to encourage, not to tear down or confuse. The manipulative nature of gaslighting is inherently selfish and destructive, aiming to dominate rather than nurture the other person.

HOW TO RESPOND TO A GASLIGHTER
If you find yourself in a relationship where you are being gaslit, it’s essential to recognize the behavior for what it is and take steps to appropriately protect yourself. Here are some practical and biblical steps to consider:

    • Seek the truth. Ground yourself in God’s Word and in the truth of your own experiences. Pray for wisdom and discernment, asking God to reveal what is true and to give you the strength to stand firm in it.
    • Establish boundaries. It’s important to set clear boundaries with the gaslighter. This might mean limiting your interactions or firmly addressing the behavior when it occurs. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Protecting your emotional and spiritual well-being is necessary.
    • Seek support. Don’t isolate yourself. Reach out to trusted friends, family, your pastor, or a counselor who can provide objective support and affirm your reality. Galatians 6:2 encourages us to “share each other’s burdens,” reminding us that we don’t have to navigate these situations alone.
    • Consider professional help. In some cases, the damage caused by gaslighting may require the guidance of a professional counselor, especially if the relationship is deeply ingrained or the behavior is severe. A Christian counselor can help you navigate the situation while staying grounded in your faith.
    • Pray for the gaslighter. While it may be difficult, praying for the person who is gaslighting you can be a powerful act of faith. Pray for their heart to be softened and for them to come to a place of repentance and change.

Confronting the darkness of gaslighting requires courage, but it’s in the light of truth that healing begins. When we refuse to let manipulation define reality, we reclaim the strength God has given us. Walking in truth isn’t just about what we believe; it’s about how we live, how we love, and how we stand firm against those who seek to distort God’s design for healthy, loving relationships. By holding fast to the truth, setting firm boundaries, and leaning into the strength that comes from our faith, we not only protect ourselves when necessary but also reflect the unwavering light of Christ in a world where deception so often prevails.

Scotty