How our biblical ignorance about sex ruins a good thing …
It is no secret that our modern world has a distorted view of sex. We are inundated with hypersexualized imagery, provocative media, and a cultural narrative that both overstates and trivializes the significance of sexual intimacy. Even more concerning is that many Christians today seem to hold an unhealthy and unbiblical view of sex — a view that is just as damaging as the culture’s. According to a recent study by the Barna Group and Pure Desire Ministry, 62 percent of Christians now believe someone can regularly watch pornography and still live a sexually healthy life. This troubling statistic reflects more than just a shift in cultural norms; it exposes a profound lack of biblical understanding regarding sexuality within the church.
The church, which should be the “pillar and foundation of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15), is largely silent or ineffective in its teaching on biblical sexuality. Instead of offering a clear, God-honoring vision of sexual intimacy, many Christians are left to fumble through a maze of cultural distortions and personal confusion. The result? We both overrate and underrate sex, missing the divine design God intended. And in this void of sound teaching, a good gift from God becomes misunderstood and misused.
THE TRAGEDY OF OVERRATING SEX
In our over-sexualized culture, sex is portrayed as the ultimate expression of happiness, fulfillment, and identity. Movies, advertisements, music, and even social media elevate sex to an idol status. But what happens when Christians absorb this mindset? We begin to believe that our value or worth is tied to our sexual experiences. Singles feel pressured to indulge in premarital sex to feel “complete.” Married couples may think that a perfect sex life is the key to a perfect marriage. Some even turn to pornography, thinking that it will enhance their sexual satisfaction or keep their relationships intact.
The Bible, however, presents a vastly different picture. While sex is certainly a significant part of life and marriage, it is not the be-all and end-all. Scripture emphasizes that our identity is found in Christ, not in our sexual experiences (Galatians 2:20). When we elevate sex to a position of ultimate fulfillment, we idolize it, allowing it to take the place of God in our lives. As a result, people find themselves disappointed, unsatisfied, and entangled in sin.
Pornography is a prime example of how sex can be overrated and misunderstood. The promise of pleasure without consequences lures many into a web of addiction. However, research shows that regularly viewing porn contributes to a decline in mental health, strains relationships, and degrades a person’s ability to experience real intimacy. When we treat sex as the ultimate form of satisfaction, we dishonor the Creator’s design, causing a ripple effect of brokenness.
THE DANGERS OF UNDERRATING SEX
On the other hand, some Christians underrate sex by treating it as something inherently shameful, dirty, or insignificant. In some churches, sex is either avoided as a taboo subject or framed solely in terms of what not to do. This silence leads many to internalize shame, especially if they struggle with sexual desires or sin. Yet, the Bible does not shy away from the subject of sex. In fact, it speaks about sex in beautiful, life-giving terms.
In Genesis 2:24, we see that God created marriage as a sacred covenant where a husband and wife become one, which includes the physical intimacy of sex as part of that union. The Song of Solomon celebrates the passion and beauty of marital intimacy, painting a picture of sex that is both spiritual and pleasurable. Within the context of marriage, sex is not just about physical pleasure — it is a powerful bond that reflects the oneness and covenantal nature of our relationship with God. When we view sex as unimportant or tainted, we deny its God-given purpose and rob ourselves of its true joy.
A VOID OF BIBLICAL TEACHING AND OVERALL DISCIPLESHIP
So how did we end up here? The simple answer is that the church has failed to provide robust, biblical teaching on sex. In a world where we are bombarded with messages about sexuality, many believers have no clear biblical foundation to stand on. Pastors either shy away from the topic entirely or only address it in terms of sin and shame. The lack of balanced and effective teaching has left many Christians in a state of confusion, vulnerable to cultural lies.
What is the result of this void? Many Christians feel unsure about how to navigate their own sexuality in a way that honors God. The lines between right and wrong become blurred, leading to unhealthy habits and thought patterns. Pornography, which 54 percent of Christians admit to using occasionally, fills this void for many. Without a solid understanding of biblical sexuality, it’s easy to see why so many fall into the trap of thinking that watching porn or engaging in casual sex can still lead to a “sexually healthy life.”
However, the issue isn’t only about the lack of teaching on biblical sexuality but also a broader failure in discipling Christians for spiritual maturing. When Christians aren’t being discipled and taught to grow in their relationship with God, they lack the daily spiritual disciplines that would equip them to resist temptation, including sexual temptation.
Lack of spiritual disciplines. Spiritual disciplines like prayer, Bible study, fellowship, and personal worship are essential for fostering spiritual maturity. When Christians aren’t taught to prioritize these disciplines, they aren’t equipped to face temptations, including sexual sin. If the church fails to disciple believers holistically, they will struggle in areas like sexual purity because they don’t have the knowledge, skills, or tools to live in daily obedience and grow in sanctification (Romans 12:1-2, Galatians 5:16).
Walking with God. Regular engagement with God through spiritual disciplines produces a desire to please Him and live according to His will. It is through growing in relationship with God that Christians gain the strength to reject sinful temptations (Philippians 2:12-13). Without this grounding, pornography becomes an easy escape or addiction, and the believer may find themselves living disconnected from God’s call to holiness.
Grieving the Holy Spirit. Using pornography (or engaging in any form of unrepentant sin) grieves the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 4:30 says, “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.” When a believer engages in sinful habits like pornography, they are resisting the Holy Spirit’s convicting power. They push against the very One who empowers them to live a holy life (Galatians 5:17-25).
RESTORING A BIBLICAL VIEW OF SEX
The remedy for this crisis is not found in more shame or silence, but in reclaiming a biblical understanding of sex. First and foremost, we need to remember that sex is a good gift from God—created for a purpose. It is meant to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage, where it serves as a powerful expression of love, unity, and commitment between husband and wife. Outside of this context, sex becomes destructive, harming the individuals involved and the relationships around them.
The Bible is clear: our bodies belong to God, and we are called to honor Him with our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). That means rejecting cultural narratives that promote pornography, casual sex, or the notion that sexual experiences define us. At the same time, we must also reject the idea that sex is dirty or shameful. Within the boundaries of marriage, sex is pure and honorable (Hebrews 13:4).
If the church is to combat the growing confusion around sex, it must start with intentional, biblically-grounded teaching. Pastors, leaders, and Christian counselors need to step up and provide clear, God-honoring instruction on the beauty and purpose of sex. We need to talk openly about the dangers (and sinfulness) of pornography, the importance of marital intimacy, and the need to find our identity in Christ, not in our sexual experiences.
By restoring a biblical view of sex, we can help Christians avoid the extremes of overrating or underrating this precious gift. We can reclaim sex for what it was always meant to be: a good thing, given by a good God, to be enjoyed in a way that reflects His love and covenantal faithfulness.
As Christians, let’s not shy away from the truth. Let’s educate ourselves and others on what the Bible really says about sex. It’s time to fill the void with sound teaching so that we can honor God with our bodies and live in the fullness of His design.
Scotty
October 9, 2024 at 4:25 pm