No one can fix your life for you …

Erin sat across from her therapist, arms folded tightly. She had come hoping for answers, expecting a blueprint for a perfect life. Three months in, she was frustrated. “I thought this would help,” she said. “But nothing’s changed.”

Her therapist leaned forward gently. “Have you been practicing the tools we’ve discussed? The thought journals, the boundary-setting exercises, the breathing techniques?”

Erin shook her head. “I didn’t think I needed all that. I was hoping we could talk it through and I’d just … feel better.”

This same story plays out not just in counseling offices, but also in pastors’ studies and prayer meetings. People walk in seeking relief, hoping someone else can shoulder the weight of their brokenness — whether through insight, advice, or prayer — without realizing that change requires their own hands on the plow.

The truth is, most — if not all — of us will face seasons when help is essential. We weren’t designed to walk alone, and God provides resources through family, church fellowship, friends, pastors, and mental health professionals to guide us toward healing, change, and growth. But even with the best support, no one else can do the work for us. Only the individual can face their struggles, whether that means repenting from sin, working through trauma, or managing mental health challenges.

Counselors can equip and guide, offering tools and insight. Pastors can pray and teach, pointing to biblical truths that lead toward healing. Church families can bear burdens in love, helping you endure struggles. But no one can walk your path for you. Forgiveness won’t come unless you forgive. Reconciliation won’t happen unless you reconcile. Skills don’t help unless you use them.

Galatians 6:5 puts it plainly: “For we are each responsible for our own conduct.” This doesn’t contradict the earlier call in verse 2 to “Share each other’s burdens …” — it clarifies that while others can walk beside you, only you can take the steps needed to move forward.

Without engagement — without effort — there will be no change. Counseling isn’t magic, and pastoral guidance isn’t a shortcut. They are roadmaps, but you must do the walking. Help is real and essential, yet the hardest work still belongs to you — because no one else can live your life for you.

Scotty